My brother passed away unexpectedly nearly 2 years ago. I have changed I think. I try to be like him, sometimes it’s subconscious, and sometimes I feel myself acting or talking as he would. I often feel adrift, which I read is a common feeling. I find that ‘time’ has a peculiar meaning to me now - it’s a grey area - on the one hand time is purely conceptual (there is no such physical thing as time) and on the other hand it presides over everything we have done and project into the future. My preference, is that time has no meaning, and also, that it never did. I suppose I want it this way as it brings me back, closer (in time) to him. I’m not religious. I wonder if I will ever see him again, somehow, but if everything I think is true then I will never see him again. No one can know the answer, I know this. The best most of us can do is to plod along, I suspect, until the next thing happens - and we try to react the best we can despite our situation. If I get the impression someone is doing better than I am in their grief, then I suspect they weren’t as close to their loved one as I was. I can never know this though as all our lives are different, despite the commonalities.
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother, @Matt1. I think you’re right that this feeling of being adrift is really common. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, I’m sure a lot of members will relate to them.
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