Hi, this is my first post and I’m not sure I’m even in the right place.
I lost my husband in August this year and I’m not coping, I feel so sad, low and generally alone. I’ve always been an anxious person, but now my anxiety has intensified. The last 3 weeks I’ve been really unwell and think that everything has caught up with me, I’m not explaining myself very well but I just don’t know what to do with myself and how I’m going to cope going forward.
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Hi Tara,
I lost my husband in May this year. He was only 45. I miss him so much and it hurts. I feel robbed of the future we had planned and so scared about the future I now face. The loneliness is horrible and so intense. I hope you have some support around you. It is a horrible thing to have in common but I do understand how you feel. Sending a virtual hug.
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Dear Tara131
I am so sorry to read about your loss and the grief you are suffering. I lost my wife 10 months ago after 48 years of marriage and her loss has hit me very hard.
Like you, and the others on this website, I have no idea about the future. I just take it day by day, or sometimes even hour by hour. Deal with what’s important, everything else can wait.
The most important thing is to look after yourself. Make sure you eat regularly and drink plenty of water. I’ve had no appetite since I lost my wife, eating alone is soul destroying, but I do try to have three meals a day even if they aren’t very large. Sleep is also important, if you can’t sleep at night then try to nap during the day if you get the opportunity.
I found I was blaming myself for my wife’s loss, there must have been something I could have done. Talking to others I found this is quite common, it was all part of the disbelief about my situation. So learn to be kind to yourself.
I don’t think we will ever get used to the loss of our partners, but I am told we can learn to live with it. It will take time though.
Keep posting on this website, everyone is here for you.
Take care.
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Its tough - been there worn the t- shirt but best advice i can give you is one day at a time xx
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Hy tara, i am feeling exactly the same, i lost my husband on 29th august , its hard , i have been feeling so alone and anxious, even tho i have 6 kids i feel alone, i have no one to talk to about it. I was with my husband 43yrs.
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This sleeping during the day is crazy normal and should be encouraged. Anything to get you through the day- whatever🙀I’m of the opinion that normal stuff doesn’t apply anymore and we’re allowed to become someone who can do what we like to help with the heartbreak and heartache.
Peter
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Hi tara
I lost my wife in september i know now how hard this is now.
Ive lost both parents a few tears ago but its not the same as a spouse they are a soul mate .
Hopefully things will get better i hope im not very religious so i cant turn to that for comfort really
But i know now god gives with one hand and takes away with the other
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I think the grief of losing your parnter does a number on the nervous system. It just becomes very out of balance and it takes a lot of rest, solitude and other things to help. I meditate, walk and take a lot of vitamins/herbs to help and try to stay away from things that trigger me, too.
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Yes, good advise!
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The loss of my wife has coloured everything and I fear abandonment all the time. I’m looking for the threats of loss all the time in any new friendship and it’s so hard to trust any attempt at loyalty.
she left me and left me alone to loneliness
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Aw … Really feel for you … does get better with time .. 
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I totally understand, it’s so hard, however, I believe the right people come in to your life at the right time for a reason and you have to trust your intuition and let the process flow naturally . All friendships/relationships require a leap of faith and some people in your life are not meant to stay and leave, walk away and some stay. Remember that’s about them, not you. You know your own worth and if someone doesn’t that or value you then you don’t need them in your life anyway. Those that are still there through your worst times/challenges are those who grow with you and they are the one’s you focus your time and energy on and build trust with. It’s hard not to put walls up and close your heart off but that only hurts you. Nothing in life is certain or permanent so treasure people who are kind, loving and supportive
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Dear RJay, Tara and all,
I lost by wonderful husband on August 4th and can relate to most entries . My world has been devastated with all our plans shattered. Your words Rjay wer particularly poignant to me, for your
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Dear @We1sh1ady
Thank you for your post and I am so sorry to read about your loss. The main thing about this forum is that we all fully understand the grief that bereavement brings.
Each day I seem to have to start from scratch, gradually building up my mood. I wake up with zero confidence in my ability to do anything and through the day, by completing little tasks, my energy levels increase.
I’ve been reading about Human Energy Consciousness and how we create blocks in our energy fields. You know the boost in wellbeing you feel when you’ve been out or achieved something that you thought impossible, some believe the relief is created by clearing blocks in your body’s energy flow. I’m beginning to think that the secret to escaping the doom loop we all suffer is to understand these energy blocks and try to clear them permanently.
I’m afraid that’s as far as I’ve got at the moment because it’s a complex subject, but I will keep you posted.
In the meantime look after yourself.
Thank you Rjay for your response.
I’m sorry I sent my previous message prematurely 
I agree with thoughts on self awareness and energy fields. I have been having weekly reiki sessions since my wonderful husband of 38 years , suddenly passed away in August , and wonder if I would be feeling differently if I weren’t. I consider the sessions as being kind to myself and if it helps me get through hell, I’m grateful .
So many people offer sensitive and sensible advice including ditcom64 talking about those we can rely on. No doubt , we’ve all found out who our true friends are
We’ve all got our own stories and we all need hope💕
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