Just lost my partner and best friend, how do you carry on without your whole life
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Hi @Curly58
I am so sorry that you have lost your loved one. My husband died suddenly a month ago today - I am at the start of my journey without the other part of me. The only thing I can say it is a very slow journey, taking one step at time - there will be many bumps, twists, turns and stalls but gradually the road will become a little straighter and smoother- I know he will be alongside me because of the love and memories we shared and I will travel on, no matter how hard the way forward is, in his honour.
You are among friends who will empathise with the rawness of your grief. X
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It’s horrendous, but what helps me is not to propel your thoughts too far into the future if you can. It’s just too terrifying and traumatic.
For now just do minute by minute, half hour by half hour.
If you can make a cup of tea or shower see it as an achievement xx breathe if you can and just do what ever is bearable right now xx
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I lost my partner 2 weeks ago…the pain is so intense. I have 3 children at home who I need to “be strong” for when I just don’t want to do anything…
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Hi @Curly58 and @KateC
So sorry to hear of your losses. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to bear, losing my beloved husband of 29 years last April. I will say though, that some aspects are less difficult now. For me the disbelief has passed most of the time; the trauma of the night it happened is less raw although I still revisit it at times.
I found that keeping busy, which I have no choice about anyway, has helped me. I use the desire to make my husband proud as a motivation to do things. The determination to carry on where he left off trying to look after the house, garden and farmland to the best of my ability is a strength within me. I’m sure he’s sometimes looking down and saying ‘What the heck are you up to now?’ but it still keeps me going.
Take it easy until you feel ready to face things though. Be kind to yourself and allow time to accept what has happened and breathe.
Every tiny step is an achievement.
Hugs
xxx
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Katie F, Your post motivated me to go out for a run, the first since i lost my amazing hubby in Oct. He loved his running and was definitely there with me, as I managed over 6 k, i was struggling to do 5k before he passed. I stopped half way and was visited by a pair of very friendly robins. It was a very emotional run but i hope i made him proud.
Take care everyone x
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I feel the same its only been 5 days and i dont no how to do things now hes not here and need hum to talk about things niw its just me talking to myself
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@Jan.jones
You will undoubtedly still be in shock and finding it hard to believe this is real. My heart goes out to you as those early days seem impossible to live through.
Accept any help on offer and try to rest when you can. I was totally exhausted early on. In fact I think tiredness is still a feature nine months on. Everything is a bit more effort even now, as well as the fact that there are so many more jobs to do.
I hope you will find some support here.
I notice you say you are in South Wales. Someone on here was hoping to set up a support group in (possibly) Caerphilly sometime if that would be near enough to you one day.
PM me if you would like as I am in South East Wales.
Love Karen xxx