I lost my mum just before Christmas, I’m the oldest of 5 siblings, a single parent , I don’t have any close friends to talk to so I put on a brave face when all I would like is someone to see how I’m really feeling. My family don’t have much to do with me I thought losing mum would bring us closer bit I have never felt so pushed out than normal.
I used to talk to my mum every night on my way home from work. I got to say my goodbyes before she passed.
I wonder how other people deal with the loneliness, the isolation from mum’s funeral decisions, and generally not wanted by siblings.
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Iam so sorry for your loss , the feeling of loneliness is so difficult to deal with, I find it impossible, after my wife’s funeral, everyone has disappeared. I come home from work to an empty house , i found Christmas unbearably the hardest day’s of my life , keep posting and reading on this site , because it really does help . Everyone is going through the same thing , try and take one day at time , please take care of yourself x
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Hi janlou , I’m in almost the exact situation as yourself , my mum passed away 5weeks ago , it’s been a tough time , not really a close knit family , I’ve had to sort things out by myself mostly , a few friends have been good but nobody seems to ask how I’m coping , seems like I’ve been left to my own , people been busy preparing for Christmas I suppose , but some I just feel forgotten, but after saying all this I have got through it , some days better than others , please keep strong , be kind to yourself, do as much or as little as you want , take care
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Thank you, it is hard and I’ve yet to go to the funeral I’m dreading it. I will keep looking on here x
That’s how I’m feeling,like I’m forgotten I get through the day ok but the nights are the hardest. Thank you for replying to me x
Think about all the good thinks and happy times you had with your mum , go to the funeral with love in your hart , and wish everyone well take care x
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It is such a lonely space to be in I am sorry this has happened to you. I just wanted to say you are not alone. I have one sibling but we have no relationship for a long time. I included them in a lot of choices but it was left to me and was very isolating. Friends I have supported through thick and thin have distanced themselves and it has been like a new wave of grief dealing with this too. I’m still working through each day how I feel about everything but one thing that has helped me which sounds silly written down but it is to break down time. So I focus on just that day or even that hour and getting though that. I will try and choose something to pass time to help me and just focus my brain on something. Lately it has been trying to condense some of the “stuff” that we have acquired over Christmas - I have not achieved loads or even finished many tasks but it has brought me back into the moment and paused my brain from thinking about the hurt at least. Be kind to yourself take it steady and you will have times of feeling better I am 6 months in and still working out how to move forward slowly but I am having some glimmers of hope. Take care
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Thank you I will try doing that x
It’s very recent for you. You find people will let you down but there are kind folk who will step up. If you feel desperate you can call helplines and just let it out. Do grieve, don’t bottle it up or push it down, that’ll make you ill. Can you do something with your child(ren) to celebrate your Mum’s life so the funeral isn’t the only focus?
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I can distract myself during the day it’s the nights that the worse but thank you x
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Yeah, I watch TV most of the night. I hate the silence in the house. I don’t have any answers but I do recommend finding people to talk with, like Sue Ryder and Cruise who will let you express your frustrations etc. sending love
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