Feeling alone

Hi everyone, they say time heal, well what about if you have multiple deaths over multiple years. It started in 2019 when my late wife passed away from ovarian cancer. Since then i have also lost my brother, mother and brother inlaw. Most of the time my head feels battered. I feel as though i haven’t grieved properly yet. I put a face on if i go out. Thanks


Hi, I lost my dad then 6 months after my husband, I was shocked & fearful & couldn’t see a way forward, I do feel guilty when I think my grief over my dad got somewhat side lined.

2019 wasn’t that long ago for one bereavement, you’ve had other losses since then so try and be kind to yourself & know that you’ve been through trauma and it doesn’t get healed overnight.


Hello i just wanted to say i feel your sadness. I lost my gorgeous and brave mum at the end of November. I am still in disbelief and like you say, I put a face on for the world to see. My brother is receiving chemo treatment at the moment which is a massive worry.
I dont have any words of comfort I’m afraid only to say that reading this forum has shown me that there are so many people feeling sadness and grief which makes me feel less alone with my emotions.
I’m glad you have found this forum. I hope others can offer you some words of comfort/advice.


Hi, thank you for your kind reply. Im sorry to hear you have lost your husband and father, 2 of the closest people you can have. How are you coping? I try to meet up with friends now and again to get out and about. Regards, John

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Thank you so much, im sorry for your losses, like you say its hard to give words that console people, but ut really does help talking to someone who understands, without words, the situation we are in. Life will get better, eventually. Sending :people_hugging:, regards John

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I’ve found John just take each day as it comes, try not to look at the future too much, I’ve found people go back to their own lives so you sink or swim, I’ve been on holiday with friends and did a cruise alone, joined a few clubs etc… & promptly left some ! As I could be here for many years to come I want to try and be happy when I can rather then just existing, I like to think my husband us watching me & proud.

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It’s so hard isn’t it, I lost my dad 92 in Dec 22 then my husband passed away 5 days later. I struggle daily with my emotions, I feel I didn’t get the chance to grieve for my dad with my husband of 46 years passing away to quickly after dad. I feel lonely and so sad and I’m really struggling just now.
Take care and take one day at a time

Hello, yes it is very hard, my dad was 90 & I did think why have I lost both of them so near to each other!

I like to think there together now having good times & I’ll be with them again in the future.

Even though my husband has cancer & we were told it was terminal I believed he wouldn’t die if I looked after him enough, we were told 2-4 months & I told my husband to take no notice & it could be years, he passed away 5 days later, I was shocked to the core, I still don’t think I’ve grieved dad as my husbands death took everything I have but I know my dad wouldn’t mind.

It is lonely, my husband was my bestest friend, but I carry on…I think there having a hoot together somewhere cheering on my successes & frowning at my stumbles, I often wonder why I was left behind but I try to shake of those feelings when they come!

My husband also had cancer he was diagnosed 2019 and his cancer was stable, he was off treatment for a 6 months, he was becoming more unwell but didn’t think he would pass so quickly. I feel my dad passing had a huge impact on him as hubby had helped care for my dad as he had dementia. I’m like you and like to think they are beside each other, they both were at same funeral parlour and kept beside each other which for me was comforting. Life is so hard now as my husband was my best friend. I still have my mum she will soon be 96 and has the beginning of dementia which can be hard to watch.

Same, my husband & dad were very close, sometimes I felt the odd one out :grinning: my husband was very upset at his funeral, before their deaths I thought medical staff could tell you if death was near but it seems they were taken by surprise, I have family and friends but I can’t talk to them about silly worries like I did with my husband, I’ve tried but they don’t get it, it’s sad to think the person who knew me inside & out is gone and no one knows me as well as he did, it is comforting to think their together, we must be very strong to be surviving this double loss even if it brings us to our knees at times

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I think you have hit the nail on the head. I am sure you’re husband is proud as punch. You keep doing as you are doing, i hope you find true happiness again in the near future best wishes john

Im sorry for the loss and pain you have gone through. Its nice to know you still have you’re mum, but as you say you will have a lot more challenging times ahead but as you are well aware, love is unconditional. Keep lookingvup and forward,

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Hi lonely john i understand how you feel ive had multipule bereavements also its so hard

I lost my mum in 2019 my sister a year later what hurts even more the family didnt tell me then i lost my brother in law same year as my sister and at new year found out my best friend passed away

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Hi Elle, thankyou for your reply, that must have hit you really hard, esp the way you found out about your b inlaw. Hopefully you have friends and family to lean on if you need to. John

Hi john thank you for your kind words and responding it was very hard still is the remainder of family is still arguing with each other i stay away from it but losin my mum my sister and brother in law aswell as best friend new year just gone i cant get my head around it