Feeling completely lost after losing my husband to cancer

After a 2 year battle with pancreatic cancer my husband is gone. It feels like it happened so suddenly and it also feels like it didn’t happen at all. I feel like he’s gone but he’ll soon walk back through that door. I’ve cried like I never knew I could. Wailing out loud, begging for him to be back in my life. I’ve been scrawling the internet trying to find out how long I will be like this because I can’t imagine living like this day in and day out. I would love to hear from others who are going through a similar situation, either for advice or to simply share how you are feeling.

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My friend, everybody in this forum has gone and is going through the same thing…you are at the begining if a process that has no end…it just changes. You are very early days so all I can say is just concentrate on getting through each hour of the day…each day of the week…and don’t look any further than that. Sending positive vibes your way :sparkling_heart:

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My husband died 7 weeks ago from pancreatic cancer, 10 days from diagnosis to his passing. We are all in the same mess. Sending hugs

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I sometimes don’t feel so bad but even that feels strange. Now that he is gone I sort of realize that in some ways I was in denial that he ever would pass. In my head I just imagined caring for him forever. And although it was hard, I would do anything to go back to that place. I’m scared of how I’m going to feel everyday.

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@zohadu Hello and a very sad welcome to the site. So sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, watching someone fade before you through cancer is such a bitterly painful experience. Nothing I can say will help with that pain unfortunately it’s something we can only endure. I lost my wife last year to lung cancer, 9 months from diagnosis. I thought I might be prepared for it, I knew it was coming, but the grief just swept me away. I imagine it will be the same for you, completely lost. To be honest there is no easy path, it’s going to be very rough. It is very early days for you, it does get easier but it takes time. All of the people on here have been where you are, we understand, we will help as we can. Take things day by day, hour by hour, emotions come in and cripple you but they will pass, you will find a place of stability, time to breathe. You will not be like this forever, I was where you are and I have come back. We all do. This site is a good place to have found, everyone is with you.

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My darling husband died 4 months ago. The feelings have been utterly overwhelming. I am having bereavement counselling which is fabulous and a life-saver.
My mind is all over the place - I’m forgetting things, making mistakes, confused and generally all at sea. My counsellor said something very poignant the other day which has stayed with me - although it seems so obvious - she said, the moment my husband died, I suddenly walked through a different door in life. She’s right.
I left behind my previous self and now am walking towards a new life, one I’m not sure I like at all. It’s scary. But I know I can do it and I hope all the readers of my post will find the strength to do it for themselves too.

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Like you I was in denial about losing my wife,I somehow stupidly believed that my love for her and looking after her was enough,even when the consultant told me it would be six to eight weeks. You have my deepest sympathy,I really do understand.

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I’m also feeling terribly guilty because I have packed away the things that remind me of him. I just hope further down the line I will be able to go through them and cherish all the memories but at the moment it is just too painful to even look at them. Did anybody else do something similar?

There are so many of us in the same situation. Lost our wonderful partners suddenly. My husband too died of pancreatic cancer. I can’t believe he’s gone 6 weeks later. It’s the longest we’ve been apart since we met age 15. God I miss him. Cry and scream and sob and feel panicked and sick.

I can’t eat or read at the moment. When will it get better, if ever?

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I’m so sorry for your loss. It really is the most impossible feeling to explain. I’m trying to work towards not feeling scared to cry. I figured it is actually a good thing, a way for me to process what has happened. I can’t stop thinking of what I need to do next with my life but as several friends have told me, I don’t need to think about any of that just yet. One minute I’m sad and the next there is an utter sense of fear. I’m asking myself all sorts of questions. Trying to figure out what this new life I have will look like. It’s exhausting

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Hi i feel like you…I lost my husband 2 weeks ago, after a 1,5 year battle to liver cancer…I never thought this was going to end like this and so soon…like you, in my mind I was going to care for him forever…i wasn’t prepared for his death. But I suppose that no one xan prepare for this …

I think I’m in denial. I cried non stop for the first 3 days but now I don’t know what I feel. I also feel guilty for not crying more, as if I’ve already forgotten him. It’s horrible

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HI Julie its nine weeks since i lost my wife and the hurt digs away at me i think about her all the time i was 18 years old and in the British Army at the time i met my wife in 1980 and stayed with her to the end 43 years so she was part of me we had one daughter she is so upset but you try to be strong but i cry every day on my own and try to accept my loss
All the very best

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My wife passed sway 14/11 - I have left her personal possessions in the room exactly as they were but all of the medication and medical equipment has been removed and returned to the NHS ! I don’t need any reminder of how poorly she had become.

My wife’s funeral is 11/12 and I found writing her Eulogy / tribute helped me to concentrate on the positive things she loved and would want to be remembered for …… it was hard to write but I owe her that much