Lost my husband in May
Have many moments when I feel so alone after having lovely days with family - I have grandparent duties to keep me busy - but the tears don’t come so often now
No one asks how I am doing as it really is just family I see & they see me as my was before but I feel I shouldn’t be coping as well as I am
Many memories raise their heads thinking this time last year… husband was on the road to recovery after major surgery
I feel sorry for myself that I can’t enjoy the same trips out that we used to do as a couple
Family are taking me on holiday with them but again I feel sorry for myself that the foreign holidays we enjoyed as a couple are now a thing of the past
Reading posts on here of people being distraught months after losing a partner - why am I just getting on with things? I feel guilty that I’m not sitting at home letting the world pass me by
Sorry for your loss. Please dont feel bad about your grief everyones grief is different. Feeling sorry for yourself is part of grieving and something we all feel at some stage because we are grieving for the life we have lost as well as the person. Im sure in time you will be able to enjoy days out, holidays etc without feeling guilty because our loved ones would want us to make a life for ourselves but you are not at that stage yet so don’t be hard on yourself just take it at your pace you’ll get there.
Oh @Crissy61
I think you’re doing wonderfully.
I just wish I could.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.
You’re coping and that’s good.
You’re tears dont come so often, but they still come.
We all cope differently and I so wish I could be like you.
Keep doing what you’re doing.
Big hugs
Liz x x
Hi, I lost my partner July 2nd, he was only diagnosed with cancer mid April. It all happened so fast. I feel the same as you about holidays we won’t enjoy together anymore. I’m very lucky that my two daughters live with me at the moment so at least I have company and will be going away with them but it’s just not the same as sharing special moments with your partner. We had 21 years of memories. I’m so sad and wake every morning with a feeling of dread. I miss him so much and don’t really know how to deal with it. Really can’t stand the thought of feeling like this for a long time. There seems little point in anything anymore. My girls are what is keeping me around. It still doesn’t feel real and I keep expecting to see him. So surreal. 
Exactly dont sit @ home & let the world pass u bye. Enjoy yr time of being busy.
Because yr day of sadness will come. When u least expect it.
I’ve been lurking for a while but this is my first post. I lost my soul mate of 47 years to cancer back in February. Thanks for posting because I can so relate to your disloyalty feelings. I miss her more than I could ever have imagined. I cry for her/us/me every day. The loneliness is tough. Holidays a whole new ball game. I’ve decided I can’t face any this year. And I’m tired. No direction, just drifting. Jacked my job in because I couldn’t face the"idiots". Not sure it’s the brightest thing I’ve ever done but it felt right. I know I’m fortunate to be able to take time out
But. And it’s a big but, in-between the rubbish times, life is kind of ok. When it is though, Wow I feel like I’m betraying her when a day is alright. It feels so wrong., like finding joy or happiness in a moment, an hour, a day is forgetting the love of my life. Even though I know Deb’s would want me to move on. We had time to talk which was a good thing but even knowing doesn’t ease the guilty feelings after a day with the grandchildren.
For what it’s worth, therapy. It’s helped me enormously just to be able to say all the things that I’d never mention in conversation to anyone else. If you’ve not tried it, consider it. There’s no fix but it does seem to help over time .
Just for posterity. Thank you Debs. I’m honoured you spent your life with me. Love you forever ever. Miss you for all time…