I went back to work today after six weeks I thought I was ready. And strange as it may sound I kind of felt that my wife was kind of pushing me to go back to work. I find it very depressing to be honest no one spoke to me and if I’m honest after that I didn’t want to speak to anybody either. I found the whole experience today very depressing and when I got home I shared some tears as I remembered when I came home from work I would always have my wife at home. She would ask me how the day went good or bad if I needed a Wind moan Jules always listen and if it was the other way round she’d support me now I’ve got nobody to talk to. It felt very lonely . I think the harsh reality of doing what I did before going to work hit me as I’m certainly not the same person I was before, but I’m going back to doing exactly the same as what I was doing before at work. I’m not sure how I can carry on doing this. I feel that I become weaker and lost some confidence.
Hi Paddy
I’m sorry you too have lost your loved one and such a short time ago. Losing anyone is hard but losing your partner is another level. I lost my dad and then a few months later my husband to a sudden cardiac arrest.
I didn’t have to go back to work like you but I have found the behaviour of friends and family unexpectedly difficult. My son has become very distant, I know he’s trying to protect himself. Friends I have had for years have just disappeared. People find our pain difficult to deal with, this is very common. Hopefully the people at work will gradually realise grief isn’t catching and go back to the way they were.
If things don’t get any better could you ask for a phased return? Just a few hours a day or a few days a week?
Please keep posting here. This group has kept me sane the last 12 months. There are some wonderful knowledgeable people here and someone will always be along to hear you. We all grumble, share our problems and post when we have a better day too. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you but if not you too can get it off your chest here.
Sending you a hug x
Thank you @Helen39
I’m doing a phased return, it was only five hours today ,I don’t know what I would have done if I had tried to do a full shift. I come here , because I know there is always someone who knows exactly how I feel as they lived it themselves.I don’t i understand why family pull away rather than pulling together.
If only people realised how precious every moment is .
I can understand. I have just finished my fazed return. My husband died in June. I work in a busy environment. People aren’t quiet its the other extreme they talk constantly about other people trauma , how life can be awful then if nothing else the terrible true life crimes they watch . I’m finding it unbearable at times and really struggle. You would think people have more empathy but they don’t. i sometimes wonder if they know what there doing. I also miss my hubby having someone to talk to when home and even texting each other during the day. Coming home now is hard . Trying not to feel sorry for myself but its so difficult at times .. i hope it will get easier for us all 
So sad now
Dear Lyn
People just don’t think, I don’t think they mean to upset us. My sister has sprung a couple of dinner parties on me when I’ve stayed there. One time the conversation was do you want to be buried or cremated and another was the role of an undertaker. I must admit I left at the second one. It really is unbelievable x
Hi Paddy
I worry about my son as I don’t think he’s handled the loss of his dad well. We all like to blank it out at times if we can to protect ourselves but he’s pushed everyone away. I hope one day he realises how precious time is and makes things right with his sister.
I’m glad you’ve found this group helpful. I’m here a lot these days. If I can be I prefer to be outside but the weather isn’t great for gardening at the moment. Keeping busy is my way of coping and also helps with sleep x
I don’t understand people at all. They really don’t think. i try and remember if I’ve ever talked like that when people are grieving especially in my younger days. I suppose its something we will have to get used to . Thanks for your support
Dear Lyn
I try and change the subject if I can, with some people it still doesn’t help. I hope I was never so insensitive but maybe we were. Unless people have been in our shoes there’s no way they can understand x
Wow that is really insensitive.
Everybody tries to deal with loss in thi own way . I hope he has someone he can talk to about his feelings in time.