I am dreading November 5th coming up on us. It will be the anniv of my mum passing away, from last nov, the time has flown by, we have only just finished sorting through estate problems, some of the family are not talking, my grief is overwhelming me, i get waves of psin still and flash backs from the horrendous day it happened when i found her. I am getting on with what i have t o do
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Hello @Butterfly22,
I’m so sorry about your mum. I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, we have a resource on coping with death anniversaries you might wish to take a look at. Maybe there will be something in there that can help you as you approach your mum’s anniversary.
Be gentle with yourself and take care 
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Dear @Butterfly22 ,
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down. Anniversaries can really take us by storm. It was a year in July since my Mum died, and last week her birthday. I thought I was alright, but it hit me like an enormous wave this week. As though it had just happened. Everything I’ve read and experience talking with others says that this can be quite usual. We need to give ourselves the time and space if possible, to just feel the feelings and let them pass - someone once said, like drops of rain in a flowing river. Sending you best wishes - we will get through this. Take care.
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So sorry you are struggling. I only lost my mum 7 weeks ago, no ‘big dates’ have passed yet but small 1sts have floored me. So I can empathise.
I saw this on Instagram and screenshotted it as I really liked the sentiment. I hope this offers a tiny slice of comfort. Take care x
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This is beautiful. Thankyou 
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Thankyou so much for your lovely replys
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Such lovely words
Thank you for posting this
Deborah x
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My experience is a bit different in that my mum and I had a difficult relationship all my life (it seems she was a covert narcissist and I was her scapegoat), compounded when she moved to live near us and made us responsible for everything in her life, with no discussion! We tried our best but could never satisfy her and the strain was pretty bad for six years. Early last year she went into hospital and got poor care, resulting in her dying before she needed to (although it seems likely she was depressed and felt she had little to live for, so I can’t entirely blame the hospital). I suppose I expected to feel relief as well as the natural sadness, as trying to care for someone who found fault with most of our efforts but kept demanding them was incredibly stressful, but I have felt down and ill at ease ever since and can’t seem to get back to finding joy in life, despite my six beautiful grandchildren. I wonder if t is still the aftermath of the lifetime of poor relationship and the awful last seven years that I just haven’t got over yet. We finally scattered Mum’s ashes on her 90th birthday this week, so maybe things will look up now…
Its very hard isnt it, youll have feelings of aĺ kinds, because still now you wont know why your mum acted as she did with you, they never tell you their deep rooted problems and srcrets, my mum didnt, she always just kept jollying me allong when things were wrong,my granchildren definitely keep me busy, a welcome distraction, look after yourself, keep talking if you need to ok x
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