I lost my mother to metastatic lung cancer last week, but I haven’t cried since the day it happened. If anything, I feel at peace.
We both knew it was going to happen, we spent our final days together talking, joking, reminiscing and thinking about the future. She passed peacefully while I was holding her hand.
Yet I feel guilty for not being more hysterical, for not shedding more tears. After doing nothing BUT crying for months prior to the inevitable, it’s like my tears have dried up for now. I’ve ran out of them. All that’s left are bittersweet feelings. Knowing she isn’t suffering anymore, relief that she’s in a better place without pain, but also the heartache of knowing I’ve lost the one person in life that I truly enjoyed being around…
Is this normal? I’ve never had to deal with grief like this before.
Hi Jay your moms at peace no pain anymore. You spent her last days together. Im happy for you dude. Dont worry about crying or not. You love and cared for your mom. Thats all that matters.
There are no rules for grief
You were lucky to say goodbye to your mum and that gave you comfort
My mum died 11 months after my husband
I have never grieved for her
She walked into an ambulance said “she loved me hen “
That was the last time I saw her alive
3 years later I still have not grieved for her
I am heartbroken I miss her every day
She was so loving witty caring and a wonderful mum
I do think one day I will just breakdown and probably you too
Right now your body is protecting itself
You have already been through hell
Like you said your mum is at peace now
Please don’t feel guilty, we all grieve in different ways.
When my mother died, this was in 1989, I didn’t feel loss the only time I cried was at the cremartorium service. All the family were with her when she died, I had been talking to her in the morning and she said my dad had been to see her the night before, he had died in 1971.
Anyway back to the grieving has I say I did’nt feel anything until six months later, I was in a right state, I would go to work and have to come home with violent headaches, sweating, nausea and just not feeling well, this would pass then come back a couple of days later, this went on for a few months. My wife would say your grieving for your mother, I would tell her don’t be silly. She conviced me to go and see a doctor, he did a load of tests and coul’dnt find anything wrong. Then asked the question had I recently lost a family member. Thats when it all came to the surface and I was fine after that.
I hope everything works out for you, take care Barry
A lot of people will feel relief when there loved one has passed because it means they are not are not suffering anymore but just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they are not with you anymore it means they are watching from heaven free of pain