Feeling guilty today

Morning everyone. So I have been out for nice walk, bike ride this morning but feel so guilty in doing this today and feeling ok at the moment. I have started to write a private journal every day, it seems to help my thoughts, even though I cry sometimes writing it, I ask the same question in it…why did you take drugs. I know it was an accident and addiction and I did everything I could. Oh I was positive now I’m going negative🤷‍♀️. I’m sure by writing my thoughts each day it helps, it may help anyone else reading this to try it, it’s just a thought to try and help everyone who unfortunately is in this awful situation. Last week I told my wonderful partner I had hit a brick wall and wasn’t moving forward, we had along chat and told me to look at the progress I had made, he was right, yesterday I actually cycled to the post box to post a letter, something I hadn’t done in my own. May seem so easy to others but another step forward I guess xx

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Hello @MJG,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m glad that journaling is helping you. I’m sure your words will bring comfort to others.

Take good care,
Seaneen

Thank you for your kind remarks

Well done for getting out, You are doing so well. It may not feel like it some days, but you are.
I think, whatever the circumstances behind a loss, most of us feel some portion of guilt at living on. Some days I just cant understand why my beautiful, full of life son is not here - it should be me and if i could swap places, i would have done it in the moment he passed away.
Journalling is so useful, isnt it. We can offload and get all the emotions off our chest. I write letters to my son, i do believe he hears every word as I write them.
Enjoy your cycling trips :heart:

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Thank you. Yes very small steps and would swap my life any day for my son to be alive. He was my life. I go out every day to my garden where he is at rest and peace in a beautiful hand made container which I made with my partner. It helps so much and yes I have found the last few days writing a journal helps me…. private to me and something to read back on if I want to.

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I also write a journal and yes it really helps. This on line helps me too. Grief is a very lonely place and it’s so nice to talk to people who are going through exactly the same as me. It proves to me I’m not going mad! x

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I love writing my journal each day, not set time doing it but I think it helps me in a way and this site is so much help. A site we never thought we would be on. Take it hour by hour, I don’t even think about tomorrow anymore…no point xx

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