Hi everyone
I lost my darling husband last year after 44 years of marriage. Im going through all the things that I suppose are par for the course weepiness, loneliness but the feeling I hate more than anything is the guilt I feel when I laugh or smile or go out with friend/family and enjoy myself. My husband had dementia and I cared for him for 3/4 years and we didn’t go out much in that time certainly not on my own because I couldn’t leave him 
so in a way I am enjoying the freedom I now have but I feel so guilty. Im sure Im not alone in experiencing this ?? Thanks for reading - best wishes to you all.
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Annetim, I lost my wife after 52 years of marriage, She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 1994 and in 1999 changed my work to part time and then self employed so that we could have more time together and I could care for her, which I did for 20 odd years. Yes I miss her, yes the weeping and the loneliness. But the guilt ? If it was you looking down after he had looked after you, I bet you would be telling him to enjoy the life he had left. So laugh, smile, enjoy the life you have. I know that my Darling Elizabeth would be egging me on, with a little remember me in there. I think about Elizabeth a lot. I do go out, I do have enjoyment and smile, I come home and talk to Elizabeth. I still have the odd tear and miss her. So less of the guilt, you looked after him when he needed it, and I am sure he would want you to enjoy the rest of your life.
Thank you for your kind words Rob…Tim had dementia. 2018 we moved from where we had lived for 38 years to a new area then Covid struck and it was about that time that Tim started showing signs of his condition so getting out and connecting with our new community was very difficult. Since he passed in October last year I have made some friends and I am beginning to build a social life but I so wish he was with me to enjoy these things. I am very weepy at the moment…the slightest thing sets me off, he was such a lovely kind man and I am sure you are right that he would want me to get on with life…but gosh its sooo hard. My best wishes to you.
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