Hi, I lost my brother in August last year very suddenly, he had a stroke , due to high blood pressure he didn’t know about, I had spoken to him the week before and he said he wasn’t feeling well but said he was ok, he lived in Kent I live in Staffordshire , I only saw him 2 or 3 times a year but rang him every week, I spoke to him the week before but when I tried ringing him the following week his phone was off which it is sometimes, so left it couple of days then tried again thought it was odd he hadn’t turned it back on, after a few days I got in touch with the pub where he worked and asked if they could get him to turn his phone on as I was trying to call him, later that evening I had a call from a paramedic to say his work had been down to check on him couldn’t get answer so got through the window, only to find he had passed away, I can’t get out of my head that if I had contacted them sooner they may have been able to save him, and I miss him so much ,he was only 62, sorry this is such a long post.
Ah @jenny8 sorry for your loss. It’s natural to feel a sense of guilt when we’re grieving but usually it’s misguided. From what you say the terrible situation would probably have been unavoidable. Try not to dwell on the details as all you’ll do is torture yourself. It’s so hard but try to focus on happier memories. Best wishes xx
Thank you i understand what you are saying ,i try and get on with things but it keeps me awake at night just thinking about him,but thank you
So sorry for you loss and pain. It might not help but I lost my Mum in August and had lived with her and cared for her so she could die at home.
It wasn’t easy and I still feel guilty that I was bad tempered because I was so tired and should have done better etc. I think loosing someone just instinctively makes you feel you should have done something different or better.
I wished I had known last Christmas was Mums last as she loved Christmas and I would have made it more special. It sounds like you had a good relationship and you did nothing wrong. You just wish it had been different for you. Remember what you did do and that if you hadn’t checked in and called work it would have been worse. ‘Could a, would a should a !’ It doesn’t change things. You loved him and you are grieving X
Thank you so much iam sorry for your loss ,
I hope you can find some way forward. You have reached out and braved sharing your feelings here. I really have found it helpful just to know other feel the intense and life changing feelings of loss. It doesn’t change anything but made me feel less alone X