Hey everyone,
First time posting here, I just wanted to vent a little I suppose 
My Mum and Sister were my biggest cheerleaders, I have lost them both within the last 8 years.
I’ve had a pretty successful restaurant for the last 4 years and it is about to close, none of my friends apart from 1 have been to see it, my other last remaining sister hasn’t even visited and I just feel so let down and upset.
It feels like I have no one cheering for me anymore.
I will mention also there has been no falling out, we are all still friends etc but none of them have shown any interest in something I created from absolutely nothing that was a pretty big deal at one point. Just wish I could have shown my mum and sister 
Has anyone else felt like this over anything?
Hello @Broken3 ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum and Sister that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hi @Broken3 do you think that maybe they think that as a strong successful business woman you are strong and coping? Some people who haven’t been through trauma or heart break have no idea of what we are going through. We might appear to be strong but sometimes you have to reach out and ask for help.x
Hi @Broken3 . I think most of us feel let down by someone, I do, or did.
It took me many months to realise its a feeling which hurt only one person, me!
So I decided just simply to forgive them and let it go.
Its amazing how peace and calmness has returned to my life.
Hi @Broken3
It sounds like you have a lot to cope with right now. It’s ok to vent, I think we all need that sometimes. I think a lot of people are feeling let down & abandoned, it amazes me how many messages you can find, where someone has passed away, then over time friends just disappear, it’s at times like these you learn who your true friends are, & the ones that don’t stick around aren’t worth the worry if they can’t even be there when you need them most.
Sorry to hear about your restaurant closing, I can hear how much it meant to you. It’s up to you how you choose to process the situation, I see moments like this as like being at a crossroads, & it’s up to you what next step you choose to take, this is just the end of one chapter, but if you turn the page, who knows where it might lead you. Sending hugs of support.
Yes, a new chapter! Each chapter has a plot, it’s our chance to make it how we want it to be. Im 76, so I suspect I know the ending, but I know how I want the plot to unfold. Im leaving all bad past memories behind, and making the new ones as happy as they can possibly be.
And another objective is that when I’m possibly sitting in the corner of a care home (as Billy no-mates) I can look back at my last chapter and say to myself, “Well, Tykey, I can look back content that I made the most of my last chapter, plus Ive still got my own teeth!”
Thanks for your reply 
That could definitely be the case, and I’ve never thought of that.
I am normally the person people come to when they need help and it doesn’t really come naturally to me to ask I suppose u just expected them to be interested. I know if my mum and sister were still here I probably wouldn’t have noticed though being honest x
Aw thanks you so much
100% agree about friends, my mum died during covid restriction times and I felt I had to deal with everything from a very isolated place, when things opened up again it was like everyone had moved on and forgotten
It’s sad isn’t it?
I feel sometimes we need more help a while down the lane when everyone has stopped messaging.
I am sad about my restaurant, but it’s definitely the right time and I suppose now it’s winding down and I’m about to have some time off I’m expecting to feel some delayed grief as I can feel it slipping in. Thanks again for your reply x
Hi
Thank you for your reply.
This is so true and definitely something I need to adopt.
My partner always says I expect too much of people then I get disappointed when they don’t live up to my expectations. I was listening to a podcast from Mel Robbins I think? And she says you should do the ‘let them’ rule which is basically
If someone let’s you down “let them”
If someone says nasty things “let them”
Basically don’t give it any of your time and move on, seems like a good plan, and like you say it brings so much peace x
Hi @Broken3
I love the idea with the “let them” rule, it makes perfect sense, one of the things I learned in therapy years ago, you can’t change someone else’s behaviour, or the way they think, the only part that is in your control is the way you choose to respond to it, so it makes sense to ignore it when people are being awkward or critical for the sake of it, or through spite or jealousy, it’s more constructive to focus on the things that matter most.
Hi so sorry to read this. It must be awful
I have been let down so many times in life so what I do is keep people anyone away from me and my dad and I because I am not willing to put my trust in people no more
Thanks so much for the reply
It’s hard isn’t it? When you feel let down it makes you want to put walls up and become bitter.
I know if I told them how I was feeling they would all be upset that I feel this way and so I would rather keep it to myself so I don’t hurt them (even though I feel hurt and let down)
X
My wife and I have a lot of lovely friends and it’s easy to overlook the fact that they have their own lives and own problems that we know nothing about.
Our best friends lost her father and both his parents within approximately 12 months but neither myself or my wife were able to help them. Similarly for another friend who lost her mother ……
Don’t write people off as very often we are apt to forget we weren’t there for them either
Well the difference I tell them how I feel whether they like it or not. If it hurts them I don’t care. As far as I’m concerned they brought it on themselves
A very good point @Cat_fan. I often look back and ask myself what I did in the reverse circumstances ie not as much as I could, or should have. Forgiving others also turns out that we forgive ourselves.
They arent perfect, and neither am I.
I felt like that - but then im cognisant that we each have our own lives and our own problems!
My old friend had a separation because his wife was unfaithful and also had an elderly mother doubly incontinent. Another friend had lost her father whilst two of our best friends (married) had lost 3 of the four parents and the remaining mother has dementia…… neither my wife or I were aware or there to help in their own struggles