My husband unexpectedly died 6 months ago. He was 43. We had only been together 8 years (would be our 5th wedding anniversary this Friday). We were each other’s world so obviously my world has crumbled.
The relationship with his family was tricky. His mum is a narcissist, everything has to be about her, and there are different issues with his 3 siblings. If she would have had her way he would have been buried and in a church - she doesn’t even go to church and my hubby would have hated that. She wanted to have ashes so she could have a tattoo (she doesn’t have any) and when I said he’d be horrified by that she wanted a lock of his hair! It’s been an ongoing battle with regards to his ashes. All my focus has been is on my husband and honouring him. There is a lot more I could say but id be here forever!
I messaged his mum last week to say I’ve arranged a date for interment (next week) and straight away she started being verbally aggressive about the ashes, even when I said this isn’t about hurting her but about my husband. This is not good enough for her, so she has complained to my BIL who messaged me asking about the disdain I have for his family and his mum. I am absolutely crushed. I have included his mum in everything, from funeral, coroners, meetings with drs. Everything. I feel like I have been made into the villain, because she cannot get her own way. And as for his siblings - I’ve heard nothing from any of them since the funeral!
I’m now going to postpone the interment (which I had arranged so I had a place to visit) as I don’t want to see his family, and I don’t want a toxic atmosphere on a day that should be about my husband.