Feeling lonely and scared

My husband died 6th December 2017, his funeral was 29th December 2017. I didn’t do presents or cards, I can’t sleep, I dread the nights, I feel so ill. I’ve been staying at my daughters, the thought of going back to my empty home without him there is so frightening. I’m 68yrs old and we were together all the time, I’m crying as I write this, I miss him so much.

Hi Janet
I am so sorry for your loss it’s such a heartbreaking journey everyone on this forum will be feeling your pain as we are all going through the same journey.
My husband passed away on the 26th November 2017 we were to get together for 30years we have three sons who are grown men now.
After my husband George passed away and after his funeral I went to stay with my oldest son for a few weeks .
I came home to my own house on Wednesday and walking through the door was truly heartbreaking but I found some comfort with all the memories we had there .
Please don’t get me wrong I could scream and have cried screamed and wanted to just give up but like everyone else we must find a way to go on just take it day bye day and with the support of your family friends and everyone on this forum we will all muddle through together and god willing we will find some peace in our hearts take care of yourself sending you a hug .

Hi Lily

I’m sorry for your loss, Jack and I had been together 36yrs, it was just the two of us with our routine. I’ve been staying at my daughters since he passed on 4th December, his funeral was last Friday (29th). I know I’ll have to return to my home soon. The few times I’ve been back to get some clothes etc, it’s been so lonely, I feel so afraid. I don’t sleep, and like you I want to give up. I don’t know how I’ve got through these past 4 weeks. The tears don’t stop, it does help to know that everyone on this forum understands what we are all going through. As you say we’ll all muddle through together, thank you for getting in touch with me, you are in my thoughts.

Janet X

I know how you are feeling I lost my darling wife suddenly on Boxing Day and feel I cannot go on without her we were married for 47 years I am unable to sleep properly and wish when I go to bed I will not wake up I just want to be with her my life has ended

I am the same. Lost my husband six months ago, after 66 years of marriage. I would never self-harm because of what it would do to my family but every night I say a little prayer that my dodgy heart will give up working so that I can join my husband. It’s a terrible place to be in, and all I can say to you is, it takes a long time for the grieving to ease, and even when and if it does, the sadness will still be there. I hate my life as it is and just want to be with my husband. You are not alone, and this site is excellent for offering a place where you can freely talk. I hope that your pain will ease in time, as will mine and everyone else suffering this awful journey. Warmest regards. Eileen

Yes Eileen it’s a terrible nightmare when the love of your life is taken so suddenly I go to bed now unable to sleep properly and hopefully will not wake up in the morning so I can be with the love of my life again we were together 47 yrs not as long as you but my heart is broken and will be till the day my time comes makes you realise life is so precious and all the things I wish I had said but unfortunately life can be a bitch My close knit family have been amazing and have comforted each other which has really saved me so far … we have the funeral next week and that is going to be heartbreaking for us all I just hope myself and my family get through the day but I fear the worst for me because it’s the final day on this earth for my beautiful wife … my best wishes to you.

Hi I am truly sorry for your the loss of you beautiful wife and yes I agree life can be a bitch there is nothing I can say that will ease your pain .
It doesn’t matter how long our loved ones were in our life’s losing the love of your life is so overwhelming .
I lost the love of my life on the 26 th November and my close family have been amazing we were together for 30years he made everyday of my life worth living now like you my heart is broken all I can say we all have to go day bye day through this journey and I hope and pray we all find some kind of peace in our hearts in time I wish you all my best wishes take care .

I’m so sorry for your loss, I feel the same as you, I’ve not slept properly for weeks now, even though I’m so exhausted I still don’t sleep. My Jacks funeral was a week ago, I’ve just returned home, after staying with my daughter for over 4 weeks. It’s so lonely here, everywhere I look there’s reminders of him, I feel frightened being here on my own. It was always just the two of us, we had our routine I was his carer, I miss all the things I did for him. Like you I feel my life has ended, I understand everything you’re saying, I’m sitting here on my own, his empty chair is on my right. Thank you for getting in touch with me, you are in my thoughts, I turned to this online community, it does help a little bit knowing we are not alone, and there’s so many others suffering as we are.