Feeling lonely

Coping with bereavement
1

I lost my husband 8months now, and miss him so much, I feel if i let it my world could quite easly fall apart. I think should i let it jußt so i can move on, but then feel it could be the end of me. My health hasnt always been the best, but just lately its one thing after another, but i dont bother the dr, as why bother i take enough medication not knowing if they help to be honest. I try not to think about my husband not ever coming home, but just lately that thought pops up all the time upsetting me. I try to get out but then feel, its no good on your own and im not one to just go out to meet people.Wished I was really. Our daughter bless her isnt coping either with her dads death, but she like me just solders on. I had a lovely dog gifted me, and he is a lifeline but somedays i just feel im letting him down aswell, ive mentioned to people im unable to walk him, but they dont seem to take the hint.In a moment of madness i joined a dating site, but there are some many cheesy men on thiese sites, im talking to one…he apparently lives in Leeds, but in Iran at minute, hes 68, he supposed to look after his granddaughter, he tells me when he goes on a mission and how dangerous it is…i must admit i do enjoy reading his stupid texts, but then i feel how cruel. Ive tried going on sites that make friends locally but then again i just cant do it. We were inseperable we did, went every where together. Can i keep going on my own. Our daughter Ive found out off a family friend that she worried shes going to lose me like we lost her dad. Yes were all dying I feel like saying to her but how cruel is that, when she was also very close to her dad.

i feel im just feeling sorry for myself as many of us are greiving losing someone close to us.
Sorry for the long boring message

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Hi @Lonelygirl1,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,
Seaneen

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So sorry you’re feeling so terrible. The thoughts around your husband never coming home can be all consuming and devastating. I still feel the same 17 months on. It’s such a struggle. Like you I try to get out but doing things on your own can be soul destroying after a while. Again like you I’m not good in large groups of new people, but I’ve discovered a bereavement support group which I’m going to try to get to when weather improves. Could you face going to something like that?
I can empathise with other things you spoke about. My health hasn’t been good this past year and it’s magnified 1000 times without my husband to support me. My daughter too took her dad’s death badly and puts immense pressure on me not to be ill and die. I just try to reassure her as best I can. It all adds to the horrible situation doesn’t it, so I really feel for you.
I’ve also got a dog but can’t walk him much of the time. From Monday to Friday I have a dog walker which my daughter pays for. Is there way you could get a professional dog walker even for just one or 2 days a week. You’d have the reassurance that he got at least one good walk a week. Last summer I started walking him on Saturdays and Sundays in a few short bursts of 10 mins at a time, which added up to about 20 to 30 mins a day. Would you be able to do this instead of taking him for a long walk?
You are definitely not alone with your grief and additional problems but I hope my suggestions help you start to tackle some of them a little.

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Thank you for your reply, its just so hard on your own. Hope your doing ok x

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