I lost my dad October 2020 to Bone Cancer
I’m still feeling completely lost at times and find that I flit between things not really fully concentrating on things.
Is this considered a normal in terms of the grief process? I do my own head in with the way I am sometimes, it frustrates me that I take so long to do things and can’t seem to find a focus anymore. I have 2 young children and hope that I’m not impacting on them with it either. My dad was my hero and I think I realise now more that in his passing how much I truly looked to him for guidance & reassurance. I’m 44 yrs of age but feel like I’m clueless in terms of what I want and how to get there? Is this natural in terms of age or because I do t have that sagely advice to tap into anymore.
Frustrated, lost and sad.
Hello @rhyso1979,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi @rhyso1979
I can relate to what you’re saying about being unable to concentrate on one task, may I ask do you usually suffer anxiety at all?
The reason I say this is because I experienced this before bereavement too and I myself suffer chronic anxiety.
Never suffered from anxiety, least I don’t think I have.
I’m not sure what has caused this inability to concentrate fully. Feel like I’m missing things because I flit so frequently, I’m a teacher and find this sometimes impacts on my work/ life balance. It’s a struggle. I appreciate your concern and hope you re well
Hi @stardust2023 I suffer from anxiety/ocd which has definitely got much worse since my mum passed away, so I can relate 
here if you ever want to talk.
I worry so much and replay things with my mum in my mind, and my brain often gets in a fog and that affects my ability to concentrate. I think that’s probably normal after grief, @rhyso1979. We’ve been through so much from losing a parent, I think it’s understandable if we’re not fully with it. Take care and take your time, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I lost my mum recently and at 32 I too would look to her for guidance and support so it’s hard to know where I’m going in life now, I understand what you mean. Again I think the feeling of being lost is normal and makes sense, our parents have been our guides in life so without them we’re untethered and alone - at least that’s how it feels to me x
@Woo4 im 32 as well x
It feels like we’re too young to lose them 
it was hard today as my colleagues at work kept talking and their mums and what they’re up to. I just kept thinking my mum isn’t up to anything as she isn’t here and it’s not fair. I wanted to scream and run out. Its too sad, too unfair, I have such anger and jealousy about it too for those who get to keep their mums, but I don’t. I don’t really know what to do with that feeling as I know it’s no ones fault, I just miss my mum so much and find it so unfair x
Hi @rhyso1979 , it does sound normal to me, & I feel Oct 2020 is recent in terms of processing significant loss. Also, part of grieving seems to involve giving ourselves a hard time - try not to, you don’t deserve that. I think go with the flow of all the myriad of emotions as much as possible, just as they are, & try to ease up on yourself whenever you’re struggling. x
Id have struggled with that situation too 
I know exactly what you mean, mothers day is coming up and i feel sick just thinking about it xx
Me too, and it’s my mums birthday a couple days before mother’s day I already had to spend Christmas, new years and my birthday without her which was awful. Will this be your first without your mum or have you had to go through the heartache of it before? X
Oh my goodness I’m really sorry
This will be my first, I only lost my Mum on New Year’s Day xx
Oh bless you, still very early days for you. I lost my mum in September so it hasn’t been that long for me either, still going through all my ‘firsts’ which are so painful. Here if you ever want to pm x