Feeling lost any hopeless

I just need to dump my thoughts, because they are so very heavy today. I’m 53 in May, my girl would have been 58 but sadly she will never see it.
I’m so very alone, we spent the last 30 years just with each other and now I have no one, no friends that are close to me… Just two new Cats to look after, our Cat also passed away two weeks ago. That hit me far worse than my girl passing away if I’m honest.

I promised my girl I’d give it a year, she passed in June last year. I look at my future and I can’t see it, any of it. I’m just existing daily, and looking after the two Cats. It’s probably a very good thing that I got them, I can’t bare to think about them if I wasn’t here for them, I got them from a rescue place, and now they are keeping me alive, literally.

I see absolutely no chance of ever meeting anyone that would want to be in my life, and I can’t see me ever leaving this bedroom and being a normal person again, ever. Why would anyone want to spend time with me, I just exist I don’t live a life.

I will probably feel a lot better tomorrow, but today I’m just existing because I’ve given myself no choice. I know life can change, I know it could get better… But do I care, am I prepared to wait for it to happen, not today.


Hi @Gav
You’re at the right place, dump whatever, we all do.
Glad that you have your cats, my dog is old but she’s been with me for almost 10 years through thick and thin, I feel sorry for her.
Stay with it.


Im sorry for your loss. Like the rest of us losing a partner floors us and we shouldnt feel guilty about bad days.
Feeling worthless is a feeling we all have, but we have to start believing in ourselves the way our partners did.
Im constantly thinking things, trying to make sense of all this. Even though you were part of a couple, thats not all you are.
What happens next is up to us as individuals. I know its hard to see a way forward, because we are at rock bottom, but the only way is up.
I think its too raw for you to be putting yourself down thinking about meeting someone else. If thats something you want to happen in the future it will happen.


I’m 52 and my wife was 57 when she passed a month ago , we had her funeral yesterday .
Today even though I am surrounded by family and our kids I am completely broken , can’t sleep more than an hour or 2 , no appetite , can’t stop crying at anything , just feel totally lost and don’t see the point in living with this constant pain , even though I have all the people here she’s not and never will be again .


I felt much worse after the funeral,and it doesn’t matter how many people I see I still feel alone without him by my side.I hope you feel better soon it’s a rollercoaster ride we are on.


@Gav believe me when I say your thinking is mirrored in here by so many. I lost my wife 5 weeks ago and have the funeral next week. I’m no longer in denial that she has gone but have moved to ‘what is the point without her presence’. That can scare people outwith this community who immediately think the worst but in actual fact we’re seeing a world many don’t recognise - life without your soul mate, I genuinely think until it happens you cannot grasp the depth of the loss. Just take one day at a time and recognise when you take a little forward step but also comfort your aching heart on the backward step days.

Like so many I’m 53 lost my wife of 31 years to cancer 9 months ago, she had just turned 50. It took me a long time to realise she wasn’t coming back every time I walked in the house I expected her to say hello but that didn’t happen. We had 5 children and 3 grandchildren who all live very close but at times it can still feel very lonely.
I would say take each day one at a time eventually the good days take over the bad days.