I feel so incredibly lost today is a very down day for myself it’s 6 months & 2 weeks to losing my partner and 3 months 2 weeks to losing my brother.
Ho are we supposed to cope & deal with to massive losses, it still feels like it was only yesterday.
I’m 47 & lost my partner who I thought we would grow old together 25 years wasn’t enough time & my brother I’ve spent 45 years loving my sister has lost her twin brother.
I oldest brother couldn’t even attend his funeral because his treatment for cancer was too intense and every day so he was too unwell to travel.
My mum has severe brain damage/ no short term memory and doesn’t understand she’s lost her son.
What are we supposed to do all I want to do is go somewhere I can scream & smash things.
I’ve never felt so many emotions in my life & it feels like it’s getting worse life is so so hard right now 
You’ve got so much to cope with, @Poppy77, it’s understandable it all gets too much sometimes. I’m just giving this a gentle bump for you - I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support 
Oh @Poppy77 I hear your grief and I am so sorry you have had all this loss to deal with.
Life is so hard now for you. I know it’s a cliche but really do just take it a day at a time and be kind to yourself. Lean on those who can support you and try. Or to think too much into the future.
Keep posting and reading here - lots of support and kindness when you need it and we all do really understand what you are going through.
I hope you get some rest tonight
Sending love and strength xx
@Poppy77, know that you are not alone, keep posting here, there are others who have experienced more than one loss, as cruel and inexplicable as that is.
Take any help from friends and elsewhere.
I have to get out walking and especially up mountains. There are many people climbing those mountains in memory of someone, and you can book a guide and walk in a group. All possibly irrelevant if it doesn’t interest you, you can’t find time or have mobility issues, but any challenge that you overcome feels like you’re overcoming another hurdle in the grief cycle. That’s what’s keeping me sane. I’m off to the Lake District soon.
It doesn’t have to be mountains, an online course, making an item of clothing, anything that seems impossible given what we have on will provide some focus and a sense of control, and achievement when it’s done.
I’m also looking into talking with Marie Curie, and the local hospice bereavement group.
I also don’t want to make myself ill, because of my son. I’ve had chest pain, I do breathing exercises, 5 in through the nose, hold for 5, and release through the mouth imagining the breath is passing through the pain. It lowers your heart rate and helps to promote pain and stress relieving hormones into your bloodstream. Stick on some meditation music and completely clear your mind. We’ve got to survive this.
Sending hugs and strength from another heart that needs healing xx
