Feeling lost sick with worries

Hi my name Donna
I’m struggling with how to put everything in to words
I lost my partner on the 31st March 2020
He died in the hospital all alone I can’t seem to get past this thought I keep hearing he’s voice calling me Donna
I’m so making my self so I’ll with it.
He was so strong he battled pancreatic cancer got through all that the operation 23 hours 5years he was in remission then all of a sudden a rash on he’s legs feet started in February 2020 swelling started doctors on call didn’t know what was going on. Went in to hospital the was not saying what it was kept testing him for sepsis taking bloods after bloods still not saying what was wrong 7days would go by send him home same thing over again he kept getting taken back in hospital by this time it was everywhere no one at the hospital was saying what it was where now being bk and forth for weeks 2 months it took for a different hospital he was transferred to says. Richard you should of been here from the very first time of being rushed in to hospital. He’s kidneys was damaged. And only the week before he died we was told by he’s gp. He was going to die. I still can’t believe it he’s kidneys was too serverly damaged for anything to be done for him he was 65 yrs old. Why I keep asking my self
I don’t think I can go on with out him. I can’t bring myself to go out every time I think about eating I feel sick I can’t think straight I can’t bring my self to ring the doctors to ask for help no sleep I feel like the best place for me would be with Richie. Makes even more worse my stupid birthday is coming up.he won’t be here for. I feel really poorly as the days keep going on weeks are starting to feel longer and longer I can’t feel anything I’m so numb.
Sorry to rant on and on.

Hi Donna I lost my husband in March. Dec felt unwell with his stomach Dr treated him for constipation and then suffering with Diarrhoea the Dr said oh to many constipation medication we knew something was not right. A student Dr sent him for bowel screening had 2 colonoscopys end jan stated normal. Rapid weight loss more tests and finally a CT scan in March which revealed bowel cancer which had spread. A plan was put in place to operate and start cemo but his bowel ruptured and passed away 3 days later. I need answers why the Ccolonoscopy did not pick it up 2 months before.
I feel your pain sorry for your loss x

1 Like

Thank you I’m really struggling like yourself
To come to terms with it all like you say there okay
One minute the next thing there gone I just can’t
Get My head around what happened to him like yourself Kim
Answers is needed but will we ever get the truth will it just be something else to blame or that one to blame. Are lives will never ever be the same again Kim when richie died. I’m feeling now this month that i have died too really feels like my life is over too. I keep hearing he’s voice. It’s so not good all this that goes around in your head.i keep trying to tell my self it’s got to get better at some point. I cry every single day and night. It’s so unfair
God bless Kim my heart goes out to you I really feel your pain.

Hi have you got family around you. I feel I need to be with Mick but then I think stop it you have 2 children and a granddaughter and couldn’t put them through more pain. Mick passed on 21st March. Roller coaster of emotions so hard. Rant on here I do x

Hi Don74,

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. Please be aware that GPs and support services are not currently offering face-to-face appointments, but will usually be offering telephone or online alternatives.

You deserve care and support so please, Don74, get in touch with one of these services.

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,
Online Community team

Thank you for the new messages I am really finding it very difficult I’m just waiting for a call back from Gp I will ask them for medication for sleeping and see if the will refer me. I’m not holding out much hope with the Gp surgery I’m with or not very good on mental health problems I’m afraid. :pensive:

Thank you all :pray: