I’ve just joined this group as I’m looking for support and an opportunity to grieve amongst others.
I’m nearly 50 and my wife passed away about 4 weeks ago from cancer after receiving end of life treatment within the MacMillan ward at Derby hospital. Just 12 days prior to passing away she was told she had cancer that wasn’t terminal.
Previously to this she had a stroke at just 26 years old and the toll that that took on her body was a significant reason as to why she wasn’t strong enough to fit this off.
There’s many things I’m not looking forward to mainly my birthday as my wife’s birthday was 1 day before mine and we always went away somewhere to celebrate both at the same time, this year we (now I) have a pre booked hot tub weekend to attend and in October (in between both of our 50th’s) we planned to go to Orlando & Miami 
Family wise she left behind a grown up son (my stepson) and a daughter between us who’s doing her GCSE’s and about to turn 16
Thankyou for reading this sad post as I still continue to cry at the slightest thing that reminds me she’s no longer here to talk to.
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I am sorry for your loss , you’ve joined the journey none of us wanted to be on . It’s very early days for you . Make sure you are eating, and drinking.You will be feeling like you’re in a fog and numb. Take baby steps and just do what you want need to do . Keep posting on here , putting your feelings down on here will help .
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Thankyou For you words of support.
Eating & drinking (non alcoholic beverages) luckily isn’t a problem as I’m living with both my children and even though my stepson is 27 years old independent he’s been there for vocal support, I’m so grateful I have my teenage daughter who only knows where the “ready to eat” food is along with the takeaway menus!
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Dear Trev
I’m sorry your here, so sorry for your loss.
There are some lovely people on here, some very wise ones too who have some very helpful ideas.
Post your worries or your questions, someone here will have been through similar I’m sure and will be along with support.
It’s all a nightmare and devastating. Look after yourself and your family. One day at a time x
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Hi Trev,
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Did the NHS initially tell you it wasn’t terminal? Was you confused when they moved your wife into palliative care?
I had a similar experience when my sister was moved to palliative care a month ago also at Derby McMillan! She died there less than 24 hours and as soon as they put morphine in her. I have now put forward a complaint to the NHS. I know it won’t bring her back but as a family, we all feel failed by the NHS. My sister was only 53. We were told she was being moved down there to manage her symptoms.
Stay strong for your kids and look after your wellbeing. It’s nice to know you are local and from the same city as me-hope you can shed some light on what’s happened in your wife’s care and if you feel like complaining, please do so, the more people know what is being done in our local hospitals the better for better change in the future God willing 
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so sorry @Trev2026 how difficult for you and what a tough time. with my work hat on your teenage daughter should get something called special consideration for her GCSEs. This means she can have a small uplift quite possibly for her exams. Its not much but anything helps and it does something to put her on a more level playing field with her peers who haven’t gone through such trauma. The exam boards decide and the school can organise. With my non-work hat on we are here for you.
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@111177,
So sorry to hear about your sister passing away. My wife had been suffering with lower back pain since November 2025 and every medical expert kept giving her more and more pain relief without asking what she thought the problem was as she knew there was an issue that required a gynaecology appointment which when arrived in Feb 2026 disclosed the cancer mass within her cervical area.
She was due to have an endoscopy on the Tuesday after passing away to try and establish the original source and set up a recovery program.
The staff of the ward did an excellent job of looking after both her and me during her final few days which is why we collected and donated over £300 for them instead of having flowers at the funeral
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@nikfabs. The school have already requested this dispensation, we can now only await there decision.
She has already been granted permission to move away from the main exam hall to one of the outer rooms where her best friend has will be so that’ll ease some pressure.
Hopefully she’ll be strong enough to get the required grades to continue her studies at an animal based college that has a place reserved for her after the summer which will again make her mum very proud of her achievements
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I see. Sounds like misdiagnosis from some drs.
My sister was also in the Gynaecology ward and had a mass which turned out to be ovarian cancer stage 3. She was due to have an Op in September but it was cancelled as she was already in hospital getting fluid drained out of her stomach.
Despite some nice staff members, I just feel if they had operated sooner I may not be on this thread. We also had the strikes in between so it was delay after delay. She passed away on Wednesday 18th Feb. Last week was her funeral at Trent valley crematorium.
Today I called Bupa. They told me they have new cancer treatments and that upon any discoveries they would act sooner. I wish my sister had private healthcare in place. We did ask the question and after a GP referral to Nuffield, she was referred back to NHS.
I am still shocked and hurt which is why I want answers from the complaints team.
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thats such good news @Trev2026 I am really glad she is being looked after. I hop you are too
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