Feeling Lost

Hi I’m new to this, so just hoping I’m not going to burden anyone with my worries but felt that this site might be a good place to start to not feeling so alone with my thoughts …I lost my mum 11 years ago to cancer and my dad 8 years ago to dementia and don’t think I’ve been the same since…my children were young at the time and I can’t stop being sad that my patents have missed out on so much, they idolised my boys and would have loved to have been part of them growing up, I miss chats with them, have a cuppa and a moan, I try to put on a brave face to the world and be happy for by kids but I’m so sad inside :cry: I think maybe I need to go to bereavement councelling?? But not sure if I’ve left it too long now xx

Hi Fluffybunny, you have come to the right place for support, I personally don’t think you ever get over the loss of your parents, you learn to live with it, like you my parents died when my children were young and I still feel the same, they missed so much, and would have absolutely loved all that happened to them, I think you are right, some counselling would help and it’s never to late to have it, Sue Ryder offers a counselling service and it’s not a long wait, so get in touch with them, sending love Jude xx

Hi FluffyBunny

I feel the same as you. My dad died 9 years before my daughter was born and my mum died when my daughter was 12.

My mum adored my daughter and I feel such sadness that she is no longer part of the day to day activities and watching her growing up.

I know it will never get better for me and the most I can hope is that I learn to live without them. Keeping myself busy is the way I cope. I personally hated counselling as it didn’t bring my mum back.

However it’s worth giving it a go, you won’t know otherwise.


Hello @Fluffybunny75,

You’ve made a very good first step by posting on this forum, believe me. You can pour out your heart here knowing others will understand. It’s amazing how just writing stuff down can be an enormous relief / release. It must be very difficult to grieve when you have young children but grieve you must, at some point and here you are. Please keep reading and posting, perhaps trying the ‘Lost a parent’ category.

Many of us here keep journals. In mine I write to my husband, not every day but sometimes every day, whenever I feel I want to. I tell him every day stuff, where I’ve been, who I’ve seen, how I’m feeling, just anything and everything. It’s like I’m talking to him, having a conversation. Maybe this is something which might help you; it’s a great coping strategy.

Sending love and hugs x

1 Like

Thankyou to everyone that has taken the time to reply it definitely helps to know I’m not alone and people understands …how do you get in touch with the Sue Ryder counselling service ?? Xx

1 Like

It’s nice to have somewhere to talk. I live alone and my partner in life died this morning. I’ve been cleaning the house like mad all day (distraction), crying a lot. But now it’s night and I feel just awful. It’s real now. I literally don’t know what to do with myself… My chest feels tight and I’m numb. Loss is a terrible thing.

1 Like

Oh Emily, I am so desperately sorry for your loss. Try posting on the ‘Lost a Partner’ category. Are you alone? I hope you have some support, be it family or friends. Sending hugs x

Oh Emily that is so sad, I’m sorry to hear of your lose, I hope you have someone with you to comfort you…I’ve oy just joined this forum but it seems such a friendly place to find friends that know what you’re going through so don’t feel aline we have all experienced grief in one form or another xx

Thankyou xx

1 Like


I’m so sorry for your losses.

I lost my dad august 11th 2020.
He was 50 years old just as my mom was 50 and I was 23.
I’m from the Netherlands.
So if there are grammatical fault or anything I’m sorry.
Dutch is my first language.
We just had lunch, he was gonna use the loo and then he came back sweating and said he had puked. That night my mom rung the hospital and they needed to come.
He was white as a ghost, he was not very relaxed, went up and down from his bed downstairs then up and again and saying things that weren’t right.
My dad had problems with his liver.
They checked him in at the hospital.
Due to covid I wasn’t allowed to visit so my mom was the visitor because I would her to visit her husband.
He got morphine to help with any pain.
The next morning my mum rung him and they talked.
Later we got a phone call from the hospital that they were about to be checking on my dad and found him unconscious and blue around the lips.
They reanimated and incubated him.
Also they kept him asleep/in coma.
He never woke up.
All his organs were failing.
So we had to decide to stop his treatment.
He passed away unexpectedly in 4 days.
It’s a good 1.5 year later and I’m still struggling.
The day of his 1.5 year since passing I decided to seek help.
I try to do everything that my dad wants me to do I think/hope.
I also write letters to him and that really helps me.
Everyone griefs differently and that’s okay.
You do you.
I also look like my dad and miss him dearly every second of every day.

I’m going into a counseling so I hope that it will help me a little bit.
You can always try.
If you don’t try you’ll never know.

Stay strong & thinking of you.
Send me a message if you need.