Hello, I need some help please.
My Dad died on 10/10/22. He had been unwell for a short time however his death came much sooner than expected and was a shock.
He leaves behind my Mum, me, my brother (both in our 40’s) and 4 grandchildren ranging in age from 17 to 9.
I live 3 hours away from my Mum and brother and have been off of work since Dads death.
In the last week I felt I was beginning to get a handle on my life again and feel more like me,
Today I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus and am very very tearful. I don’t feel like my body belongs to me.
I’ve visited mum last weekend and it was lovely to spend some time with her, however I kept waiting for Dad to appear at the door.
I feel so very lost and alone. My friends have been great, my kids don’t get it and as all teenagers do spend every waking moment in their rooms. My partner lives 2 hours away so isn’t here in person all of the time however is very supportive by telephone.
My ‘fit note’ expires Monday. I’m not ready to go back to work so I’ll contact my GP to extend it.
I really have to go back to work in January for financial reasons, but I just don’t know how to feel better.
Any suggestions or support would be gratefully received.
Hi @Sparkle75 am also in my 40s and I felt the exact same as you felt like I was doing ok then bang it’s like it a actually hitting you and the realisation of not seeing or speaking to your parent again is the worst feeling I have ever experienced, I also have a partner but that lost and alone feeling is horrendous although my partner has been amazing very supportive and patient with me still doesn’t make it any easier.
I went back to work after 3 weeks off because am the same as you can’t afford it, but am not going to lie it is hard when your at work but some days are ok aswell it’s a welcome distraction until your home again, but if you don’t feel ready don’t do it, so what’s right for you everyone is different
Take care
Sending love to you. I lost my mam in March and took 6 weeks off work. Everyone is different some take less some take longer. Most days I am glad of work for the distraction and others like today I just can’t function it is horrible beyond belief and no guide book unfortunately. The loneliest feeling in the world. Take care of yourself xx