Feeling lost

I lost my mum in June. It was actually on my twin girls birthday. I feel like I’ve been in a bit of a daze since it happened and haven’t really processed it. It was unexpected as she’d previously been healthy. Within 2 weeks of becoming unwell she died. I have so many feelings from disbelief to anger. Also I keep having flashbacks to those last moments. I guess I’m just feeling a bit lost and finding the grief quite overwhelming.


Hello @Alli1,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling a little lost and overwhelmed. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi there, if its any consolation Im feeling the same way its so difficult to process when you have everyday life to get on with.
I feel it helps me to write down how im feeling and look for something positive to be thankful for each day.
Grief is different for everyone and we just have to be kind to ourselves :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Hi, so sorry you are going through it too. It is strangely comforting knowing there are other people who feel the same although I obviously wish no one had to go through this. I find writing things down helpful too. It just all gets so overwhelming at times doesn’t it x

Yes very overwhelming but we have to keep pushing on with life. You never get over losing someone… you just learn to live alongside it.

Now both my parents have passed I just feel so alone even though I have my own family it just isn’t the same.

I know exactly what you mean. I lost my dad 8 years ago and it feels so strange not having any parents now. My kids are a good distraction but I know what you mean about feeling alone.

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My dad passed 7 years ago and he hadnt been well for a long time but it was still a shock. My mum passed last September suddenly even though she had been diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer in 2018 she was doing well. You just expect them to be around forever :broken_heart:

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I lost my mum Dec 30th 2022 and am lost in this world of sheer depression,crying and just trying to survive each day without her.Havent had her funeral yet so I still have to find the strength to survive that.
I am thinking of you and completely understand what you are going through.
Life is so cruel at times and these are the hardest times
My mam was my life and also my best friend No one else will ever come close.We did everything together and now I am lost completely and utterly lost. How I will get through this I don’t know.
Keep posting because everyone on here will help you I have found just in the past three weeks that people have been so kind.I have never ever posted anything online before but at the moment I am trying to get help from any way to ok can bec my grief is so raw
It helps to communicate with people who know what you are going to through so keep posting and writing down your feelings.
I will be thinking of you and hope you keep in touch
Deborah x

Our situations sound so similar. Both my parents died from cancer. With my dad we had a year from when he was diagnosed. We got so much closer in that year then we’d ever been. My mums cancer was undiagnosed so it was a really big shock. It was a big step for me to come on here as I tend to try to cope alone. We need to keep talking to people who understand and I’m a glad I took this step.

Hi, I’m so sorry. I know how desperate you must feel. Allow yourself to feel all those feelings. I think it’s important not to suppress any of them. The funeral will be tough but you will get through it. I was so self conscious and worried if I started crying I wouldn’t be able to stop. I now realise how silly that was as of course people would’ve understood if I was a wreck at my mums funeral. It took a lot for me to join this community and write things down. If I’m honest I’m still probably holding back a little but hopefully I’ll find it easier in time. Please feel free to message me anytime x

Hi Deborah, im so sorry you are going through this difficult time and have had the strength to reach out. We are all survivors of losing the people we love and I take comfort from thinking they are no longer suffering. Hopefully the funeral can be a celebration of your loved ones life and then you can take the time to slowly recover. Its a different process for everyone and I really appreciate you responding to my message. Xx

Yes our experinces sound similar my dad was diagnosed with cancer back jn 1994 but it went into remission. He then had heart and bowel problems and passed away in hospital. My mum spent most of her life looking after him so it was a cruel twist of fate that she diagnosed with cancer 3 years after she died. We had got much closer after my dads passing and I did what I could to support her day to day and making sure she had everything she needed. I was with her when she passed a call very early in the morning and I thought she was having a panic attack but while on the phone to the ambulance she was struggling to breathe andbecame unconscious and I did CPR until they arrived but I couldn’t revive her. Xx