Feeling lost

In 4 weeks my husband of over 57 years will have been lost to us for.a year. I have been zombiefied since then. I have carried on with daily life . Running our home going out walking a lot and going back to work plus doing some voluntary work. Suddenly I’ve started having the weirdest dreams . Where up to now my sleep has been sound and dreamless . I feel I’m going backwards and can’t understand why. I’ve got thro his birthday Christmas new year without a problem really. I’ve had counseling from sue Ryder and it’s definitely helped in that it’s got me eating and sleeping. . I’m 80 in the summer so won’t have many years left now but can’t see any future for myself. It hasn’t helped that I’ve been told there were mistakes at the hospital in his care. As covid rules were in place I was his only visitor but now I learn he should have been on end of life care which would have allowed my sons to see him. I feel guilty that I didn’t push for this to happen and find it very hard to deal with. Oh yes the hospital have apologized but SORRY is easy to say


Dear @lostmylove

I apologise for the delay in responding to you. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. Not many people can say they have been together for over 57 years, what wonderful memories you would have made together.

I would like to share some resources with you that may be of help and support to you until someone comes along to offer there support who have been in a similar situation as yourself.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through .

It is good to hear that Sue Ryder Counselling has been of help to you.

Please continue to reach out at any time. You are not alone.

Take care of yourself.


I don’t know how I have not seen your post before as I check every day for new posts. I still don’t understand the mechanics of this forum.

I don’t think grief has any logic to it and no reason why it rears its ugly head again as strongly as before when you thought you were doing ok ish. I can only send you love and hope you can get a more settled time again soon.
Karen xxx