I was looking after my dad daily, he had pancreatic cancer and was getting more poorly but then he developed sepsis. I really thought we had more time together. He passed away on Friday and I miss him so much. I miss looking after him. I thought I wanted more time to myself but now I’ve got all the time in the world and all I want to do is to look after him again. I feel guilty for all the times I could of seen him (if I had an opportunity to not go) and didn’t.
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Hello @Helen17,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your dad that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
You might also wish to read our Losing a parent support page - it talks about some of the feelings you’re describing and you might find it helps you to feel less alone.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Helen
I lost my mum at the end of December suddenly and at times could have seen her more to but she knew that I worked and had my son (his activities take over) but we had many other happy times together and talked on the phone. Don’t be so hard on yourself this is a difficult time as it is and I am sure everyone can say what it. Remember the good times.
Take care 
Valda
Thank you so much for taking the time to write your message, it really means a lot and it makes sense reading it. I too have two primary school boys and worked and the spare time I had I did spend it with my dad. Thank you for giving me clarity and some peace 
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