Hi All,
Although I had known my partner for over 10 years it wasn’t until late last year he got in touch and we began a relationship. He told me that he had cancer a couple of years ago but we were both shocked that in March it had returned and unfortunately he was terminal in May. The cancer ended up spreading to both lungs, his stomach and into his brain….He came to live with me and I was his carer aswell as working, I think I was grieving while he was still alive if that’s possible. He passed away in August aged 50, after we had only been together 10 months……some days I feel okay and others I just want to stay in bed.
We did discuss a number of things mainly about how I should try and live the best life I can and I’m turning 50 in October he said if he wasn’t here then I should still celebrate 
Ah it’s so bloody hard isn’t it. It’s great that you got to be together in the end but so sad that it was cut short and in such a cruel way.
Birthdays are hard. My partner died suddenly in January and he would have been 50 beginning of September. We did still celebrate his birthday but in a very different way. Would I have done that or me? I don’t know, like with every event, I don’t know how I’m going to feel till the time comes and usually, not as bad s I think it’s going to be.
If he wanted you to celebrate, and you feel up to it, then why not!
Hi Lilly im new to this site and we are heartbroken on here having lost dearly loved ones but we are all in this together and even in these dark times the people on here are fabulous and still want to support and help each other that to me is amazing bless you x
So sorry to hear this. It’s absolutely possible to grieve before they die. My husband (only 43) was diagnosed with terminal cancer June 2022. I feel that I’ve been grieving since that diagnosis.
Hope you find this site supportive x
Yes I beleive that without a doubt bless you take care my wife was in the same position so I do know exactly what you mean bless you take care. X
It’s known as anticipatory grief. It must really prolong this agony.
I was told by the hospice nurses, that I had it three months before I lost Richard, when he was very poorly at home and before he went into the nursing home.
Its bad but nothing like as bad as we all feel now … at least they are here and we can see them and love them …