I have lost my partner of 13 years just over a week ago. He had been ill for 3 months and had gone for the usual tests for lung cancer. We finally got his diagnosis on a tuesday and by the friday we were told the cancer had spread to his brain. Within 4 days he had passed away.
The thought of a life without him is so hard. Like so many others we had lots of plans and now they have been taken away. My feelings are of anger, dispair and a longing for him to just be back here with me.
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Im so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away on Tuesday after 17 months of cancer (he was only 43). I did a lot of the grieving from the moment he was diagnosed but now just feel so so sad. I have two children I need to keep going for but would happily curl up in bed and sleep for a few weeks without seeing anyone xx
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i know exactly how your are feeling anger is not good i assume his carers did all they could. try and take comfort in the fact he did not suffer too long and accept all the love that is offered to you, people that have not lost there other half dont understand but believe me we all do, if you were close i would give you a hug. we all need those
i lost my wife 3 months ago, i did not think i could carry on but so far i have. best wishes phil
Thank you both. Even though it was quick i know he didnt suffer. I just wish we had spoken more about the what ifs. He always said if it was cancer he would fight it but he didnt get a chance as his diagnosis took too long and it had spread too fast.
hi sue we have had lots of funerals this year and we had talked about what we wanted so in a way we were lucky. my mags loved christmas so her send off was christmas themed we all wore christmas jumpers even the celebrunt. off course the down side is that christmas will be a night mare. i have no plans for the future and i guess you are the same.
i cannot see a future but you just after take one day at a time. i am 70 with no wife and no kids but there are people out there far worse off than me so keep your chin up lots of love phil
Thank you Phil. My partner was a big Liverpool fan so we are all wearing Liverpool shirts or red and i have organised it that his hesrse is a motor bike one as he was a biker.
I know i have to take each day at a time and i guess focus on the here and now.
I have two grown up children and my partner had two grown up sons and as a family we need to be there for each other.
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As hard as it is the lwhat ifs” make no difference now. Cancer is simply a f@cker. My husband had no symptoms until it was terminal. Whilst we had longer together there were times I wish it was quicker (I know that sounds awful and I can now look back and appreciate he had more time with the kids). Life can just be really cruel xx
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Nori i understand what you mean and i know deep down i would not of wanted to see my partner suffer anymore. We had 3 months of him losing weight, no appetite an horrendous cough and being so weak thst he couldn’t walk and hoping it wasnt the dreaded cancer but it was and finding out and dying in less than a week i suppose in terms of others who suffer it was a blessings.
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hi sue i am into classic cars and we both love or should i say loved them one of them is a 1960 classic hearse so of course she took her last journey in that. the funeral directors were very supportive, so a bike should not be a problem. hope your day goes well love pip
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It’s all rubbish whichever way someone goes it really is. Hardest thing I’ve even had to do/see xx
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@Nori I’m 10 weeks without Shaun, 2nd counselling session today and Iv been in floods of tears all night… I don’t want to carry on but know I have to for the 3 kids but it’s so so hard… sending you all my love right now and please know I’m here anytime day/night you need to talk xx
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thank you scar bessed wishes pip
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My husband was a bradford city fan and we wore bcfc scarves or shirts … nice thing to do as a tribute to them x
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I know the yearning for them is the worst i think … missing them … its just awful 
but you are early days. Be kind to yourself xxx
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I went to see my partner in the Chapel of rest yesterday. I felt it gave me comfort but also the realisation that lying there was an empty body and he had gone. I so desperately want him back and be here telling me to not cry but i know that his spirit is here with me in my heart 
and i need to hold onto our happy memories.
I
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@Sue338 we want them back so much don’t we.
Sending you a hug.
My husband was an Aston Villa fan and we all wore football shirts (he did too), and the hearse had a Villa flag on it.
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Paddy53 that was lovely and i feel that doing something that was special to them is so important.
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As we did have time, my wife decided what she wanted for her funeral - black and tears, she got her wish!!! although she was in this bright dress, the picture was from the last time she was out before being hospitalised.
She also chose the exit song, a northern soul classic, Frank Wilson - Do I Love You? (Indeed, I do).
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That is lovely and im so glad you were able to follow her wishes. I love the choice of song my partner was a big northern soul fan and we always sang along to it.
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nice picture you will remember her
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