I lost my husband of 44 years on 4 January to pancreatic cancer. Today will be 38 days since he died. I thought i was doing OK, but today i feel totally lost and alone.
His funeral was yesterday. I spent a month planning the service, chosing the music he would love, the flowers, the get together after etc. It all went like a dream. It was not a funeral, but the celebration of the life of an exceptional man who i am proud to have had as a life partner.
Today i feel the worst I have felt. I cant stop crying. Its like ive given him a send off, and now there is nothing. I dont know how im going to cope without him but cope i must because before he left me he made me promise that i would be OK. I dont know how I’m going to honour that promise. Please someone tell me it gets a little more bearable.
I’m sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
I lost my husband to cancer last November.
I promised him I would look after myself.
Keep your promise. One day at a time.
Baby steps.
Just be the best version of you that you can be and do it in his honour but also do it for you. You will be ok. He we will be with you, and he has faith in you. Don’t be hard on yourself.
Sending hugs
@paeony I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband was 63 when died from pancreatic cancer in September and we had a celebration for his life a month later. I can’t tell you it gets easier, because it hasn’t for me - I’m crying again this morning, but I try to keep busy. I accept most invitations and offers of help.
And I’m paying for some counselling which is helping.
Wish I could say it gets easier, I think we just get stronger…. My wonderful partner passed December and I miss him so much… I’ve cried rivers… take care of yourself……
goodbyes are not forever
Goodbyes are not the end
It simply means I’ll miss you
Until we meet again x
Lovely poem @Jenny2016. It was a while ago i wrote that. I guess its got a little easier since then. I still talk talk to him every day - i suspect he has got ear ache, i miss him, but life has to go on. I need to figure out how to build a new life, and discover who i am without him.
@paeony, very very sad for you. It sound like my story…He was angleized almost three years now…The world has completely changed since… Do you get better ? The non-stop sharp pain has eased off into the deeply embedded sorrow. My brain seems to be functioning better… overall still struggling. I now feel that little bit more capacity to handle issues that come along.
Not a day I do not think about him… he is forever in my heart. And may be in time you would feel that it is a blessing to him alive in your heart.
xxxxxxxxxx hugs, and God bless.
