Marla56
It’s like a living second death . So sorry for everyone’s loss .
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That’s exactly how I feel, the loneliness gets more intense, life will never be the same for us and it’s so hard to describe the pain it’s not just emotional pain it’s a physical pain of just getting through each day 
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Karen72
Only those that have lost truly understand those physical emotional pains.
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The pain and emptiness just follows me around every day, I lost my wife January 4th this year, every hour of every day is just empty, I work days and just about make it through, but the nights are hardest, don’t get me wrong, I have lots of family to support me, but still I eel alone, Sue was my life, I was also her carer, but her injuries were not life threatening, I showered her, cooked and cleaned and worked all week, but loved every minute and wish she was here with me… it is so unfair …. But at least she was saved from the pain I am feeling so I guess that is a positive to think of…. I am just empty
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Glyn
It follows us doesn’t it . I read something today it reads
Mourning never ends Only as time goes on , it erupts less frequently.
Perhaps that’s our future.
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Sounds about right, this going to be a long hard road to walk, just hope we can all make it , and with help and support I am sure we will x
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I had hoped we would live out our lives together retire grow old . I feel panicked living my life without him. I don’t now fear my own death I fear ageing without him alongside me.
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Understand that, all the plans just gone, now we have to do things alone if we can do them, all the planes were for two, a couple , soul mates, now just one… ….
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I find it hard when I take our dog out for a walk, and i see couples walking holding hands or chatting, i feel so cheated and envious that i can’t do that anymore more. Its things like that the little things that i am finding hard. Im going on holiday in July with my son, daughter in law and grandchildren, I’ve never been abroad without him, I’m not the best flyer and he always held my hand and made me feel safe.
I work in a school and yesterday a yr 1 girl held my hand and looked at my rings, she said you’re married, i said i am next thing I’m in tears and she wonders what she’s done. I had to explain that Andrew wasnt here anymore, but I’ll always be married to him. Its hard when something out of the blue is said, it can knock you for six.
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Shellmiller
I just read your post and I cried . I lost my husband aged 58 to lymphoma cancer in October 24. The things we miss are so vast aren’t they. We can feel so alone even with family.
I too feel envious robbed cheated when I see couples out holding hands being together chatting sharing and we no longer have that. So cruel so painful isn’t it.
It’s our 40th wedding anniversary in May we had a loving marriage.
Later in May half term I am taking my two adult children and grandchildren away for one week . 3 of the 4 grandchildren have never flown. My husband and I booked a holiday just before Covid hit for them to experience their first flight well we know it didn’t happen so here we now are but not with who I also want to be sitting alongside me . It is bitter sweet and will be tinged with great sadness . He so wanted to be a part of their first flight. I think I’m going to be a bit of a mess. It doesn’t take much !
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