13th January 2024 my world was smashed into a million pieces, I have been with Clive since I was 19 and have been together for 32 years, I’m sat here on the eve of his funeral feeling lost, numb and full of dread not ready to say goodbye to the love of my life 
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Im so very sorry for your loss Karen 
you are at the start of lifes most horrendous and lonely journey. It was after the funeral that I truly broke to pieces, and it took a long time to put myself even partially back together. Be so kind to yourself, forgive yourself, let yourself scream and cry, even when you are so sick of crying. The weight will get lighter, I promise. Keep coming on here and sharing your storey, and your partners.
We are here to listen when you need an understanding ear xxx
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Sorry to hear about your loss. My life changed Nov 19th when I found my husband dead in his office. Today was our 20th Anniversary. This site has helped me through lots of lonely nights. Reach out when you need to chat. We are all living this nightmare together
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Hi @Karen72 so sorry for your loss. It’s very raw for you on this horrific journey. You have done the right thing by reaching out. This forum can help as we all understand your pain and suffering. The funeral will probably be a blur to you and I’m hoping your family and friends will get you through this awful day. I’m 21 weeks in so still raw for me too but talking to people that understand definitely does help.x
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My heart goes out to you surround yourself with love hold on tightly come back to the group we have been in your footsteps.
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There will never be anyone who could take the place of my husband but a male friend might help to talk to but where you find these I dont knoe
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I know that feeling. I still feel lost. I lost Andrew my husband of 35 years we were together for 44 yrs, 6 months ago, i look at his photo and i feel like there is a deep dark pit inside of me, i can’t believe he’s gone. I feel hopeless. I hoping i will get easier because i can’t go through the rest of my life feeling like i do., im sorry for your loss.
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@shellmiller sorry for your loss too, the pain is unbearable and the loneliness is awful. I feel a big part of me is missing since he went. I just wish it was me that went and not him I’m so lost without him.
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Helen24
I know a lot of people post similar feelings. I know I’ve had that thought many times I wish it had been me and not him.
The loneliness is overwhelming isn’t it .
So sorry for your loss
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Hi @wilderness i can honestly say I’ve never felt so alone . There’s a huge void in my life now. Sorry for your loss too.x
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For me I’m glad it’s me that’s left I would not have wanted him to go through this nightmare I’m going through.
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Helen24
You have a hollow feeling inside your body that’s not visible to the outside world . It’s the most dreadful feeling .
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We did everything together, including working together for a long time and now it’s just me it’s awful. He was always telling me to go out with people from work etc and I didn’t listen.x
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Helen24
Sending you courage and support .
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I lost my husband 3 months ago I was not ready to say goodbye at his funeral but i found the strength from somewhere,My thoughts are with you.
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@lucycat its 8 weeks ago my Clive passed away suddenly at home I still haven’t found the strength to say goodbye, at the funeral my priority was our son and his 3 children from his previous marriage that have been in my life for 32 years, I always leave my emotions last in order. Everyone has now gone back to their person and my person who I would turn to is no longer here it’s so lonely 
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@Karen72 @lucycat so sorry to you both for your losses, it’s so hard and so lonely. It helps a bit having people on here to chat too who understand but not the same going home to an empty house. I don’t know people where I live so it’s very lonely. Hugs to you both.
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I lost my husband 3 months ago,with pancreatic cancer ,and lung cancer ,i cant believe he is not here any more ,the silence hits me when i come home to an empty house especially when i see his empty chair.Sorry for your loss.
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I’m like this in every evening so lonely. I wish there was somewhere to meet up for like minded people it’s so sad.x
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It’s a terrible journey we are all on. It’s been 4 months for me and my friends think I should be getting better by now. It’s easy for them to say since their husband/partner is still alive. Part of me died when he passed away. Sending hugs
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