I don’t even know where to start. All I know is I feel lost. I don’t know how to move on from this devastating situation I have found myself in.
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Just take one hour or one day at a time at the moment.
There are lots of people who feel lost on this site, including myself. The community here are able to support you along your journey and offer a listening ear and some good and often inspiring advice.
Be kind to yourself, sleep, eat and lean on others around you if they can be there for you. It will get easier with time.
Sending some strength and a big hug xx
Thank you for your kind words… I am sorry for your loss @roni52
That’s the thing, everyone thinks it’s time to “move on”. Leaving me even more isolated in my grief.
Is distraction the only way to get through it?!
My bereavement has been 5 months now.
Hi @Witchwaynow . At this stage, I began to realise that if my life was in a book, there were chapters in there, such as infancy, schooling, adolescence, courting, career, marriage etc. That was until bereavement came over the horizon.
What was the next chapter to be like? It was up to me to create it.
So I actually wrote down how I would like it to be. This included, where to live, finance, relationships, hobbies etc etc. Then, bit by bit I started taking small and big steps to make it like I wanted it to be
My life had purpose again. I never forget the 50 years of my marriage, but I’m happy again. It takes time and work, it was about 18 months to achieve it.
Distraction may temporarily hide the grief, and has a part to play in this journey, but doesn’t mend it!
I wish you well, be positive and confident, the grief never goes away 100%, but we can learn to live with it, and be happy again.
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I’m almost at 4 months and like you, people seem to expect me to have moved on at least a bit. And I also find that hugely isolating and upsetting that they think my husband meant so little to me that I can just get back to normal in such a short time.
I am doing stuff - I’ve started a couple of new activities and volunteer once a week at a community garden, but haven’t managed to get back to work as I’m just not stable enough to do it at the moment ( I work with high risk teenagers )
I also need to be there for my kids, 2 of whom are still at home, one of them who will go back to uni in September.
Like @tykey i feel I need to write a new chapter in my story which is not what I had planned at all - and one I don’t want to write either. But for the moment I am here being a mum, which is a priority, and I am hoping that what comes next will be better than how life is at the moment, as I feel very alone.
In a couple of years when my youngest leaves home for uni I hope I will be stronger in myself and have a better idea of what I want to do with the next 30+ years.
Just take time and allow yourself to grieve your loss. I don’t think we move on- just take a different direction and learn to live with our loss.
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