Hi i am struggling with the loss of my husband feb 24 i am lost was a full time carer for him i had not a lot of spare time now i have lots but cant motivate myself to do anything i am in middlesbrough just some advice please
Hi Frenchie, I am really sorry for your loss. It is normal to feel lost after the loss of your partner, and for some time after. So don’t beat yourself up about not being motivated to do anything, I certainly wasn’t after the loss of my wife.
You spent a long time caring for your husband and as a result, had little time for yourself so it must seem a little scary not having to busy yourself.
My advice is always, take each day at a time but also take time to look after yourself, its important. Make sure that you eat well. For me, when I eventually decided it was time to go outside, I would just venture into town for the day, window shopping you could call it. But I started to enjoy conversations with others when buying a coffee etc and became more confident as I didn’t like leaving the house. Later I joined a couple of groups and I started to go out more. I did this at my own pace, so that I was comfortable with the groups and I guess thats the key, everything at your own pace and in your own time.
Take care Frenchie
John
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Thank you john
Somedays are a little better than others just feel like its a constant battle
Hi @Frenchie, sadly it is a constant battle, even when you feel you are coping you get an “off” day or two and you feel you have gone backwards, hopefully these days will get less and less, it’s 5 months since the loss of my wife and at the moment its the sudden realisation I am on my own I find really difficult, so it is tough and its still really a day by day journey, I totally agree with John, try and introduce positive things into your life, even a little at a time, even positive thoughts (if you can manage it!) negativity can be your worst enemy. It seems it can be a long journey and its different for everybody but there are some really good posts on here from people who are much further along the road than we are.
Give yourself time, look after yourself and take care.
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