It’s been over a year now since my mum passed from pancreatic cancer, it will be 2 years in January.
I think about her everyday and wish I could do something just to bring her back, lost her far too soon and suddenly and it just doesn’t seem right.
Lately I feel lost and like a loss of direction.
I’m struggling with fertility and can’t talk to her about it or get mums advice, I’m looking for another job as I’m not happy in the job I’m in and have I been in it since before losing mum, but I just don’t know what to do, feel like making decisions is so difficult because I can’t turn to her for advice and I feel stuck in a sense.
Has anyone else ever felt like this? It’s been over a year and I’m still getting flashbacks of how things went from diagnosis to losing her, like I haven’t or can’t process it. xx
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, @Samantha86. You are not alone. @Kayleigh22 posted this thread yesterday in which she talks about feeling lost, too. Maybe you can chat to each other? You can read her thread here:
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. Keep reaching out,
Hello @Samantha86 & @kayleigh22, so very saddened to hear you’re both still in pain, I lost my darling mam 29 days ago, oh the pain is unreal!, I still hear her & smell her, I’m currently sleeping with her unwashed dressing gown, I honestly don’t know if it helps, or makes matters worse for me?
Hi,
I’m so sorry for your loss, and that we’re in this mad grief club.
I had an email that tagged you and I read your post and feel similar to you.
The pain never goes away, I don’t know about you but I do have good days but when my bad days come, oh boy don’t they come.the pain of feeling it all is almost to hard to feel , so I lock it back up again.
I also feel the same, lost and without direction, you just want to call your mum and vent , moan , laugh and get advice.
Please do message me, it would be nice to talk to someone who actually knows and understands. And when I do talk about my mum to others , I feel their pity and I hate that. Xx
I am the same and I have days where I am fine, I still think about her but I’m ok with my emotions.
Then I have days lately where I just feel completely lost and don’t know which way to turn, I think why did it have to happen to her and it shouldn’t have happened.
I think I may feel like this when I need to speak to her for advice, when I have things going on and I need to pick up the phone and talk or see her.
They say there is no timescale for grief, everyone is different and it does get easier with time.
I don’t know, I think you learn to deal with your emotions slightly better but nothing ever takes that hurt away and that feeling that you have something missing in your life.
If it helps I find letting everything go when you need to helps, crying and letting it all out.
Listening to her favourite songs, and butterflies give me great comfort because she loved butterflies.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s so hard, you just need to do what makes you feel comforted and what feels right for you.
I put pictures out of my mum when she died but I had to take them all down, I felt awful like I was hiding her away but that wasn’t the case, I just couldn’t handle seeing her in the pictures it hurt far to much. When I felt ready I put my favourite one out and that has stayed out.
She was cremated and I still can’t get my head around her ashes, it still doesn’t seem real or seem right.
Taking comfort in her dressing gown if it helps you is the right thing to do and everyone grieves differently, there is no right or wrong way.