Feeling lost

Is anybody else jumping daily from one extreme emotion to another? I’m nearly 11 weeks in to losing my husband and I’ve gone from a constant gut wrenching sadness to numbness and a feeling of trying to get on with things.
My husband had early onset Dementia but died from cancer.
Is this too early to be having different emotions?

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Hi @Beacon,
In answer to your question, no it’s never too early for emotions to be all over the place, when we lose someone we love, it’s a big shock, & there’s a lot to take in, there are a lot of changes, so it’s understandable that how you feel can be very up & down. This is your grief journey, so you do what works for you, feel free to talk on this forum as much, or as little as is comfortable, we’ve all been through our own bereavements, so to some degree understanding what it feels like to lose someone so special. Sending hugs of support.

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Hi, Not at all. I find my emotions are all over the place. I get the ’ ok, pull yourself together ’ emotion that can suddenly be replaced with the ‘devastating sadness’ emotion at the flick of a switch.
Very hard to deal with at the moment, I’m sure you’re not alone feeling this.

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Thank you. It’s so difficult to understand yourself isn’t it.
I feel I’ve gone from being a confident doer to somebody who really doesn’t know what’s coming next.

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Thank you. It sounds ridiculous but just knowing people understand means a lot.

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I was confident and self assured prior to his death but now theres days when im not sure I know own name!!. Grief knocks you for six. One day i can feel im taking a step forward and doing ok then boom, im a quivering mess again and my emotions are like a pendulum on a clock swinging between two extremes.

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I dont count the exact time I’ve been without my husband, but its around 9 wks. I felt I was coping well and then, suddenly, for the past few days, every day I’ve almost collapsed with grief. Sobbing, panicking, screaming, feeling of total desolation worse than when he died. I only stopped through complete exhaustion!! Why does this happen? There are so many of us on here going through this and most of us have coping mechanisms from a list of 5 things to do every day to just moving furniture so you don’t automatically see your loved one’s empty chair. So, please let me know if anyone reading this has any ideas how to break, or at least interrupt, this terrible cycle. Sending support and hugs to everyone :hugs:

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I think ‘exhaustion’ is the key word. Grief takes up so much energy even though we may not realise it, that every now and then, even though we may feel we are coping, we just reach the limit and the exhaustion just takes over and completely floors us with mega symptoms of grief that come out of the blue.
Hopefully it gets better.
Take care x

Compared to some others, I feel “lucky” (if that’s the right word} as at 2,1/2 years I am over the worst. It is not so raw now. Other feelings have replaced my initial intense grief, I now do not trust anybody, having been let down and even ripped off by various trades (builders, car mechanics etc) . Friends have fallen away as expected, family have become distant, and I have become a nuisance to some. I am lonely but coping by keeping busy. I also get very angry at the world which is totally centred around the internet, social media, TV channels which I cannot access etc because I am a digital dinosaur. Although I go for tech classes (when available) progress is very slow, it does not come naturally to me. I cannot renew my bus pass as it is now on-line only, as is everything. The sense of isolation is very real. I feel useless as without advanced digital skills I am redundant. I now have to send this, but where is the clear instruction how to? Sue Ryder take note!

Devonolderguy i feel completely the same im now 16 months in to my awful journey have to been riped off by workmen lift removal men all sorts yes i cope better most days but just exsist really just a sad empty feeling with no real future im just 60 my husband was 67 been married 40 years ive managed to now sort bills im down sizing as kev was in a wheel chair so dont need so much space on trying to concentrate on renervation to take my mind off all the sadness grief brings…all take good care…one day at a time it does in some ways gets easier on the heart :heart: as time moves on