Feeling nervous

Hi everyone

I am feeling so overwhelmed at the moment today is my cousin birthday and the family are doing a surprise birthday and retirement party for her.

At first when I was told about it I was excited and accepted the invation however as the day goes buy I feel like I don’t want to go tge thought of having to see all those people and of all the questions etc expecially from one family member who can be very insensitive and keep going on an on about my husband and wanting me to relive the events leading up to his death which I really don’t need right now.

This is the first event that my husband will not be with me having fun together and dancing together.:disappointed_relieved:

Hi Cpmb

Thanks for sharing this. I can imagine how daunting it would be for you, especially if this will be one of your first social events going solo, but from my experience, being around other people can lift me out of how I’m feeling and I find myself able to take a small bit of respite from the grief.

Is there anyone else there that could look out for you if your insensitive relative tries to take over the conversation? Maybe if there was someone you could trust to keep an eye out or wouldn’t mind you sticking close to them it might help you have a nice time and relax.

If you decide to go, I hope you will come away pleased that you went. And if you don’t, that’s okay too.

Good luck and take care of yourself x

Hi CF22

Than you for this support I am have decided to go and getting myself ready I must admit it is nice to dress up again it is such a warm feeling I feels like I am giving myself a treat and as you say respite from the greif.

Yes there will be someone there to look out for me which I am grateful for.

Still feeling nervous though🤭

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Hi Cpmb

Glad to hear you went in the end :slight_smile:

I can’t remember the last time I got dressed up either, so I can imagine how nice it would feel! I think everyone on this forum could do with a break and a fun evening to head out for and hope yours went well!


Hi CF22

I did go to my cousin birthday/retirement surprise party I must admit although I put on a false persona pretending I was enjoying myself it was difficult I felt so lonely although there were lots of people there and my sister looking out for me it was really hard especially when certain tunes were played that we would have enjoyed dancing to.

I was so glad when the evening was over and glad that no one approached me to upset me especially one family member who I tried my utmost best to avoid especially when he got drunk.

I honestly don’t think I am really ready for social events at the moment I think its too soon so I will hold off on that for a while.

However as you said it’s would be nice for everyone on this forum to try and have a little fun if you up for it and see how you cope although it is easier said than done as some of us here the greif is really fresh and raw and some longer.

I tried it as I just wanted to forget about my greif for a couple of hours but as I said I will be holding off on social events for a while until I feel I am ready or will I ever be ready…hmmm🤔

Thinking of everyone here as we all go through this new chapter in our lives


I’m so glad you went can’t have been easy for you. Just goes to show you are stronger than you think. We all want to hide away when we are grieving but the longer you leave it to face people the harder it gets. When l lost my Mum once the funeral was over. I never left the house for wks. I didn’t bother getting dressed some days. I just wanted to be left on my own with my memories until l gave myself a good talking to and said this isn’t what my Mum would have wanted me to be like. Like they say there is no time limit on grief

Hi Bradley 23

Thank you for your response you are so right it proved how strong I was by going but that did not take away the loneliness I was feeling while there, after that I have been on a rollacoster slump and struggling to do things that need my attention.

I have been asking myself when will this hurt and emptiness rollacoster end, this week has not been the best after my counselling session on Tuesday I have not stopped crying and feel so tired and just want to sleep all day I am wondering if this is due to my greiveing.