One month ago yesterday i got that dreaded knock at the door. Two police officers telling me our son Luke, 26, had been in a accident and was dead. A van had pulled out on him and knocked him of his motorbike into the path of the on coming traffic. He was run over by an unlicensed driver who drove off leaving my boy dead in the road. All I have felt from the very begin of this nightmare is numb, I can still feel the love I have for him and on the day of his funeral I felt extremely proud of him but otherwise just numb. Everytime I start to get upset it’s as if my body just shuts off. On the day of Lukes accident I suffered a type of heart attack, tackotsubo’s cardiomyopathy syndrome, and I tell myself that I feel numb because my body is protecting me but in truth I feel like a freak.
No you are not a freak, it’s not just your body but you mind protecting your from this horrible situation. What has happened is every mothers nightmare and as a mother of two sons I don’t know how I would deal with that kind of information being given to me, one of our sons has a motorbike.
I do hope the police offer you support because you do and will need it, my heart goes out to you. Please take extra care of yourself. S xx
My daughter was 33 and died 6 months ago from a blood clot 2 days post surgery. I was holding her hand as we walked and she just went down and never got back up. I have felt numb every day since. I felt so disconnected and ashamed as I did not cry. After her funeral I had a meltdown and have not stopped crying since, but I still feel that numbness as I cannot believe my beautiful angel has gone. Know that you are NOT a freak. You are a mother trying to deal with a devastating loss. Sending you hugs and love 
I lost my son 36 5ths ago. I feel numb as well I can’t cry I seem to of been holding every body else up I couldn’t remember following the coffin, the music ,who was there, it feels like I was attending a client from my work. It just doesn’t seem real I feel so lonely lost and alone although I know I’m not
I know this numb feeling. I cant cry anymore. It seems to have dried me up inside. Maybe it’s to protect. But I want to cry so much it just won’t come out.
Julia - the numbness is a form of protection ,I was glad of it in the end. I am sorry for your loss of a young man, especially the fact that things could have worked out differently. I have no wise words for you but i know you will get some good support on this site. X