Hello everyone, I’m new here but I’ve been reading your different experiences for the majority of the time my grief began.
My mum died suddenly on the 24th of May after being sick with stomach pain for 5 days and this experience is the hardest of my life. We’ve only just found out what she actually died of (10 weeks later) and it turns out she had gallstones in her gallbladder which caused her gallbladder to rupture due to a blockage, so it burst and caused an infection. But they also discovered traces of cancer in her colon.
It’s all pretty crazy because in 2019 she had a blockage removed in her bowel which they determined wasn’t cancer, she went for check ups over the 5 years after and was given the all clear. But every so often she would get sick with stomach pain (trapped wind) and be sick/ vomiting and the doctors said her stomach would be sensitive for a while. Whenever she went for a check she would mention it and they said that’s normal but it now seems that it wasn’t.
After doing a small amount of research it says that colon cancer and gallbladder problems and bowel polyps (which is what she had removed) in some cases can be linked because of them being all connected to the digestive tract. And it turns out gallstones can come and go which would make sense considering she wasn’t ill all the time. Maybe like twice a year at random points. So now after finding all this out it’s like everything over the last few years makes sense whilst never knowing that this could happen. Dying of a gallbladder rupture is rare but usually because it’s diagnosed before it gets to this stage and I’m just feeling really hurt at the fact if it was brought up sooner it could’ve been prevented or aided. Especially as it turns out gallstones take 10-20 years to form and you never even know they’re causing you problems until a later stage and that’s the same with colon cancer. She had all these tests done and had a camera check her bowel and surrounding area; it baffles me they never found the colon cancer. It also says colon cancer can go undetected for years so I refuse to believe that she conveniently got it as soon as her 5 year all clear was given. It must’ve been there before or some traces of it. And it’s just hard now, knowing all this was happening and we had no idea.
My mum is my best friend and she’s such a core part of this family and life just isn’t the same anymore. The further away I get from when she was here the longing gets bigger, I miss her so much and I cry very often at how cruel and brutal the way she died was. She deserved so much more than this; she means everything to me and my dad. It’s just really hard and I dunno how to do live in this reality for the rest of my days.
Thank you for reading, sending love and support to everyone going through this pain. It’s the worst I’ve ever felt in my life 
