I lost my Gran/Dad in September 2023 (I write it like this because biologically he was my Grandad, but his role was being my Dad). I was expecting Christmas to be a really difficult time because I personally dislike the season at the best of times, and on top of that my sister & I were responsible for my Nana’s care over the season, who is of course still grieving the loss of her husband of 62 years.
Weirdly, it went… fine. But I realise something now. I don’t think I am fine. I just feel numb. I don’t feel sad necessarily or angry. I just feel… numb. And it scares me a bit because I know how heavy and terrible grief feels, and I know when that feeling returns, it’s gonna hit hard.
I’m in a really busy period right now. I’m decorating the new flat in time for our move on Wednesday next week (the bedroom hasn’t even been STARTED yet), I’m terrified I won’t have finished packing everything in time, I’m terrified I won’t have time to clean the new place and old place… so I’m thinking maybe the numbness is because I can’t afford to be hit with paralysing grief right now?
If anyone has had a similar experience, I’d really appreciate knowing I’m not alone or at least that these thoughts and feelings make sense.
I lost my Mum 9 weeks ago, and in between the bouts of grief i experience more of a numb feeling. I wonder if it is in fact the mind coming to terms with reality, and starting to find a new normal. I dont like the feeling at present, it almost feels better to be crying because its all consuming.
As you say, you have so much to get done right now, so your mind might have switched into focus mode in order to help you with your move. I guess just make sure once the move is over, dont be swamped by busyness, give yourself time so that if those emotions have built up and need to release, your brain knows its ok to do so
So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my wonderful Grandmother in July and I kept myself so busy after the funeral and then it started to really catch up with me. It would come out in odd ways like me snapping at people. Even now sometimes when I’m stressed I realise I’m not that resilient still due to grief. One thing I find helps though is to tend to my grief, sometimes that means I need to allow myself a bit of space to sit with it and if I do that and let all the tears out then it gives me the space to get on and do other things and that’s where the brain is trying adapt to a new normal. There is a really great grieving course on the mediation app headspace. I have found that useful at times.
@Ally6 glad to hear you are using it too. I find it quite useful, sometimes hard but I think it gives you the time to sit with your grief. Sorry to hear of your loss also
