My wife died in Dec and I have been coping ok, but the last few days have been feeling really low and lacking motivation to do much. I don’t understand how this is affecting me now after 3 months and don’t know how to get out of the low mood feeling.
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Hello @Jack7,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hi im sorry to hear of your loss.
My mum passed away in November 23 and I still have down days. You are bound too it takes time to register what has happened.
I went to see a counsellor for 6 weeks and she said
, " I’ve seen 4 people who are bereaved today. And all of them are struggling. Some have been bereaved shorter some longer than you"
Take care
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you cannot get out of the low mood, sadly. one must suffer as Nature intended. you are a bare three months out of losing your wife and you want it all to be over. but grief is the boss. if you can, seek counseling and real life support groups for some emotional support. some men perhaps want to deal with loss like a business to be dealt with. but these vast emotional losses demand their due. it is just awful and something we face and endure. 
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@Jack7 Hi I lost my partner in December too. The last few days have been excruciatingly hard for me. I’ve been overwhelmed with loneliness , fear of the future and worrying about how I can cope with my life. Yet a few days before this I felt I was coping with things. I find my mood goes up and down and I have no control over it so I have to take each day as it comes and get through as best as I can. I’ve found being on here helps as you realise you’re not alone with this. Take care
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I totally agree with you. I lost my partner in August last year. I have a fear of the future as I am 75 and living alone with no family. My mood goes up and down. I get very anxious and constantly have butterflies in my stomach at the prospect of living alone. I get very depressed and cannot see an end to depression then another day I will feel a bit better. I over-think everything so do my best at focusing on something else but that is not easy. Lets hope things will get better and we have less low moods and more high ones. You are certainly not alone.
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Hi @flowergarden I’m sorry to hear that you are having to deal with depression and anxiety. It’s so hard dealing with everyday life now that our special person has gone. I hope that you find some peace as I do for everyone on here. You take care.x
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I’ve had good and bad days since my mum died in January this year. This week has been particularly bad, I’ve had quite a few dark thoughts going through my mind, hopefully this will pass. Hopefully things will get better for everyone xx
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Hello flower garden, I am sorry I know you are experiencing the same as me. I also suffer from anxiety and depression and in the same age group. I wake up every morning feeling nervous for the day ahead. I lost my Husband in January and everyone keeps saying these are early days for bereavement. I have to make myself get out of bed, wash and eat. These simple tasks are such an effort. Try to have some counselling because your counsellor will make you realise that all you are feeling is natural and one day it will all become easier. That is my wish for you and me. Take care xx
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Thank you. It is good to know that someone in my age group understands depression and anxiety. I wake up every morning feeling very nervous. Sometimes, rather than lying there in bed and thinking about things, if I wake up early, I go downstairs and do a jigsaw puzzle to take my mind off things. Everyone says it is early days but it has not improved since he died in August. I did have some councelling but it helped in the short-term but the next day I was back to square one. We can only hope it will get easier. It is a very lonely life isn,t it without our partners. I do not have a family, I wondered whether you have family support.
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Hello flower garden. No I have no relatives in the country. I am on my own too. I have a friend who is very kind but has a busy life and I don’t see her very often. My husband had dementia and after I looked after him for four years he went into a nursing home for 3 years. Seven years of my life have passed and I long for a ‘normal’ life, although it would be a new normal.
We all have different stories and experiences but the bereaved share a common sadness. I wish you peace.
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Same situation that I am in. No family one or two friends that are busy - although I have one that keeps in touch a lot that does not have a family. Sorry that your husband had dementia a horrid disease - my mother had it. My partner had a stroke and died within 24 hours. No preparation for my new life so I have had to learn to do things he looked after in the home. I hate it but today was slightly better but who know what tomorrow will bring because depression and anxiety just hits you unexpectedly doesn,t it.
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It has really helped hearing that others are going through similar feelings. I am getting anxiety feelings now after low mood, and lack of motivation to do much. I didn’t know anxiety could be related to grieving, but it seems common? I really hope it passes soon as it’s miserable.
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Sorry to hear how you are feeling. Please reach out to someone regarding the dark thoughts. It’s so debilitating feeling low and anxious isn’t it…