Feeling sad after my Dads Funeral

Losing a parent
1

Hi - I lost my Dad 4 weeks ago unexpectedly after a 6 week stay in hospital where we thought we finally had some hope and he had improved. He just passed out of nowhere. We had the Funeral last Wednesday and today I feel more immense sadness than the period between his passing and the Funeral. This feels so final and I’m not ready to let him go. I did lose my Mum 27 years ago to cancer and this feels so different to then, maybe we were more prepared and we still had Dad to go to. The pain today is immense.

5 Likes
2

Hi, sorry for your loss and the sadness you’re experiencing. Now you’re past the funeral, you are probably realising the finality of your Dad’s death. In many ways that limbo time before the funeral provides a distraction as you are preparing for the service and organising details. Now that stage is over and you are just left with the grief. My Dad died in 2014 and I lost my Mum in January, 4 months ago. I’m having to adjust to the orphan that I am now, even at the age of 57, it feels brutal. That unconditional love and support has gone. Take care of yourself as it’s all very raw and recent for you…xx

4 Likes
3

Thank you for your kind words- it is a reality and I think the shock is still there as I can’t believe it’s happened at times.

I need to allow the sadness and grief to play out as it is so recent. Xx

1 Like
4

Hi @Kirst1,
Sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your dad.
It feels very raw when it’s so resent.
My mom passed away 2 years ago, & my dad has recently been diagnosed with COPD, so I’m dreading the time ahead. When he told me his diagnosis, & the nurse said it will get progressively worse over time, my mind went straight to the same thought of, I’m gonna be an orphan :hushed::scream:. I guess it’s the feeling of parents being like a sorta safety net, they’re who we go to when we have problems, we go to them for a sympathetic ear when we’ve had a bad day, we share a lot of memories with them, & when we lose one parent, it’s like, at least the other is still there, but when they pass, our safety net is gone.
It’s ok to not want to let go, it’s a new really that takes time to adjust to. If it helps, talk to him, or write him a letter. Sending hugs of support.

1 Like