Well…, a year on from losing my bestest friend, Soulmate, Husband, I bit the bullet and came away for a few days to see if I could do this alone. Kids thought a city break would be a good starting point, as it will keep me busy. In Amsterdam- it’s a beautiful place and I’m OK In the day, but the evenings are killing me! Couples, families, stag/hen do’s everywhere- I do really miss my Soulmate/Husband and I am breaking inside! I never thought I’d be in this place - it’s not where I ever wanted to be! Really struggling! Hate my life now! I don’t want to be here on this planet anymore!
I’m really sorry to hear how low you are feeling - the first anniversary is such a difficult time for a lot of people. Managing to get away without your husband is a big step and you should be proud of yourself for that, even if it has been tough.
Have you had any sort of bereavement support or counselling at all? Some people find talking things through with a neutral person really helps them to cope with their emotions.
This could be something you could access through your GP, the charity Cruse Bereavement or, if your husband got any care from a hospice, they would normally offer bereavement support.