Feeling sadness

Losing a partner
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I have just joined the community. As you will see my name is Tony. My beautiful wife Lorraine died in Willows NHS palliative care unit at West Heath Hospital. She had vascular dementia and died peacefully and I was able to be with her for her last few days. The team were so lovely and looked after us both with great care, they even made me a bed in her room. We were together for 44 fantastic years. We even worked in the same university.

I am trying to keep busy but I miss her desperately. In some ways I don’t want to stop missing her but it makes me feel so sad and I cry every day. Will I ever feel better?

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Hello Tony,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about Lorraine. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

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Welcome Tony to our very kind and encouraging club

The club that no one wants to be part of - It is a very honest place and people share their thoughts

It’s such a lonely experience that is not well understood unless you have walked in our same shoes

As a carer one suddenly has far too much time and love

I suppose I’m learning to live with my own thoughts but I do have to say aloud quite often What do you make of this Paul ? As time goes by I am keeping more busy but the missing is very very painful

Best wishes

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Thank you both for your kind thoughts. I was at a particularly low ebb this afternoon. It is Lorraine’s birthday on 21st of this month, so I’m not looking forward to that.
Thanks again. It’s been interesting reading some of the threads which I will contribute to at some point.

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