Having a really bad day. Just been standing in front of Rob’s wardrobe, hugging his clothes and crying my eyes out. All his clothes have memories. The cardigan I gave him one Christmas which he loved. The shirt he wore when we had afternoon tea at our favourite place etc. I feel so broken. The sun is shining to-day and I can’t even open the curtains as on a lovely day like to-day we would have gone out to one of our special places and I can’t go out any more as I don’t drive and have a lot of health issues so my world has shrunk and all of the area we lived in is no longer accessible. My grown up son and daughter can’t often come over as they live over 10 miles away and work and have their own lives to lead. So I just stay here surrounded by Rob’s things just as though he’s still here and feel so lost without him. Life has no purpose without my beloved Rob. I loved looking after our little flat for him and cooking him his favourite meals.
He was my everything and I never knew what real love and happiness was until I met him. I know everyone on here will understand. Definitely in a black hole to-day
Sal sorry for your loss. How long has it been I’m 8 months in my journey and still have lots of bad days. I to haven’t sorted Jim’s stuff out seems wrong to bag it all up and get rid. I miss him every minute and docs put me on antidepressants. Are you having counselling? I started mine only had 1 session so not much to say about it yet. Weekends always seem worse somehow the silence is deafening.
Rob passed suddenly and unexpectedly 2 weeks before Christmas. I’m having counselling , helps a bit I guess but some days nothing seems to help.
Feels like I’ve been plunged into a life I don’t want or didn’t ask for. He was my rock and always so caring.
Sorry for your losd too. It’s so hard isn’t it xx
It’s awful Sal, I’m so sorry you are having a bad day, I just had a moment as well, I have just had my bathroom done and was in our room sorting out all the bits that had been taken out of the old cabinet and before I knew it I was smelling his aftershave and soap and holding his razor and toothbrush, the wave of sadness just overwhelmed me. I had to leave and come back downstairs for a bit. I try to hold the tears in a bit when the kids are in but my insides are in knots. Take care x
Lilyboost it’s awful isn’t. I’m always finding different things round the house that jim put in draws or cupboard I don’t want to part with anything so I’m got a memory box that I put his bits and bobs in I even put his flat cap in there and everytime I open it it smells of Jim.
Oh Misprint I know and I want to hold on to every little thing he touched, I have a face scarf of his that he was wearing the day before he died and I keep it in his dressing gown pocket that I now wear but the thought that one day that smell of him that’s on it will fade just kills me. Some days I just don’t know how to carry in without him x
I can totally relate to everything you are saying. Am so sorry that we are all going through this awful time. Your world suddenly feels very small when you are facing it on your own. It’s lovely that you have a memory box of ‘treasures’ and hope that it brings you some comfort. I have found wearing one of my husbands jumpers sprayed with his aftershave very comforting at times. Sending you all strength x
Hi Sal3
Sending you love and hope you have a better day tomorrow. We all have bad days, awful days and sometimes a slightly better day. Weekends tend to be worse for me xx
Hi Sal
I fully understand the heartbreak you’re going through. My wife passed away three months ago, I’ve cried every day since it happened, she beat cancer once after having treatment for a year, but it came back she went into hospital for an infection and was expected to come out in three days but it took a turn for the worse. I know I will never move on like some people suggest , I can only move forward one step at a time, I know she would want me to be as strong as I possibly can be for my son and daughter and my six grandchildren. To be perfectly honest without my son and daughter I would’ve folded weeks ago, I have met some very nice people on this forum who are in the same position as me, I know things will never be the same but with the help and guidance from people on this site I can only hope in time I will be in a better place than I am at this moment. I am so sorry for your loss and everyone else who finds their self in the same situation as ourselves. Take care. xx