Feeling so sad

Hi all,
I have posted before about my husband Kevin who died suddenly at 54 in 2020. We have a son who has autism and who has kept me going over these last couple of years. I work and have good family and friends who I love. However my thoughts are up and down, at times I am fine and enjoy things, but sometimes my thoughts are how can I go on like this?
I miss Kev so much and don’t know if we will ever meet again ( I am not sure if I have faith), When I die will that be it? I am worried and don’t know how to say it to anyone else, because they would just come out with platitudes. Thanks for reading this.


Hi, faith is a hard one. I am no longer sure. I grew up being told God was real and we need to believe or we won’t go to heaven etc etc. Now all grown up, I still have a fear that if I don’t believe and if there is a heaven, I won’t get in lol. So think I believe out of the fear of not knowing. But then some days I hate all faith, because if God is real then why is there so much bad stuff in the world and why did he do this to my man and me.
We were happy, never hurt anyone and did good things. So it’s a tricky one and don’t think there’s any straight answer.
I’m 9 weeks in and just had two good days, still tears but nice days. However, on the drive home later on, the reality that he will not come back ever, hit me like a brick and I broke down. Now 9pm and I’m fine again. Grief is unpredictable.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow x


I know exactly what you mean my husband died suddenly June 22 of a massive heart attack.
My son is Autistic and no. Verbal but he keeps me going. That’s not to say I don’t get sad and sometimes angry. We also lost our daughter suddenly at 22 so now there is just me and Bob my son left.
I miss both my daughter and husband so much as he was my soul mate and rock xx