Lost my husband 14 weeks ago, unexpected and quite sudden. Last week I was feeling a bit better, felt perhaps I was beginning to come to terms with things. But this week I am feeling very low again, it feels as if I will never be happy again. I have been keeping myself busy, joining groups and classes and dealing with Mum’s estate ( she died last October). Think I am just worn out after years of caring but find it hard to sit still long. I don’t expect recovery to be a linear process, just wondered if others have reached plateaus and how you cope.
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Lost my wife on 17th April. I don’t go a day without crying but sometimes there’s just a wave of grief and I’m away back again. Don’t think I"m close to any sort of plateau.
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Lost my husband 6th June with very little warning. I cry every day but some days are definitely worse than others.
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Sorry for your loss Lavender Lady.
I lost my husband in June suddenly and unexpectedly. I still cry every day, no plateau I’m afraid for me either. My friends who have lost partners tell me that they went through the same thing but that eventually it gets better. I know we are all individuals and won’t experience everything in the same way but it seems there is hope.
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@Lavenderlady1 sorry for your loss. It’s been 5 months for me on this journey. The very early days are just a blur of total despair. Then gradually I seemed to be coping. About the 3/4 month mark I struggled really badly and felt like I was going back the way. A few people on here have said they were the same. I now feel I’m progressing again although still cry & miss my husband every day. Hang in there, things will improve.
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Thanks. That is reassuring. I think part of the problem is it has been so long since I really felt me. Caring for Mum with dementia and then his Parkinsons diagnosis, I put my life on hold a bit. Now suddenly I am free from all obligations and I dont like it.
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I looked at my future life as a new chapter in my life. Of course it would have lots of links to my previous 50 years of my life with my wife.
I was determined that it would be good, but different.
So I wrote down how I wanted it to be, and almost everything I did moved me towards it.
My plan covered all the important things, such as finance, where to live, how to get friends, hobbies, relationships, pets etc.
Effectively it was a map. I followed it, and my new chapter is looking good. I got lost a time or two, but always managed to get back on track.
At no stage was it leaving my wife behind, she has always been beside me.
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@Lavenderlady1 it’s a lot of adjusting that takes time. Take care.
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