Hi all,
I feel I need to talk to someone, but I guess in some ways don’t know who to talk to . I have a lot on my mind. I miss my mom, & wish she was here to speak up for me, & give me some guidance. My dad wanted to sell the house that I part own, to be honest, neither of us are really happy here any more, my dad has been a problem drinker on & off for years, when my mom got ill & passed he was drinking heavily every day, though it’s calmed down a bit since he met his current girlfriend, but he’s been quite traumatic to live with, & this year especially, he’s been extremely verbally & mentally abusive with me, even when sober, I’m sad to say that a few weeks ago it led to me attending suicide,
I can honestly say that if it weren’t for my boyfriend I probably would of done it waaaaaay sooner. I don’t want to live with dad anymore, even my doctor, & the crisis team at the hospital all say the same thing, if the way he’s treating me is just going to keep leading me to self harm & suicide, it’s not a very healthy environment for me, & should move out, I agree with them on that point, but I’m scared, I can’t afford to buy a place, & don’t feel safe about moving into council housing, my income won’t stretch to rent, & have heard to many stories of people who have issues in council accommodation, problems with damp, being moved from place to place, when I talked to citizens advice, they told me a single person on their own usually gets pushed into a house share, which doesn’t feel safe, you could be pushed in with anyone. A man at the social group I go to was pushed into a house share with 3 other men, he often complains that they make a lot of noise all night, & as a result, has had to book a couple of nights in a hotel just to be able to get some sleep,
I’m terrified of ending up in a worse situation, even homeless, I need someone who can help me make sense of things, & guide me to what I should do. Also, my mom had them gift me 1/3 of the house when they made their wills, & set up the “special interest” for me in the will so that I would always have a secure home that couldn’t be taken away from me, but with rented, or council, I wouldn’t have that kind of security,
if mom were here, she would tell my dad to stop acting like such an “expletive”, & stop bullying me, that she would want me to be safe & happy, she told him on her death bed that he was supposed to look after me, that he was supposed to help me get settled somewhere before he passes, but all he’s done is abuse, berate, criticise, put down, insult, & treat me like something he’s scraped off his shoe, & she would be just as disgusted with him as I am.