Caring for my Sweetpea 24/7 often gives me feelings of guilt because I don’t achieve things making her feel better all the time. Medication times are a nightmare for me as she will not always take it, even though in extreme pain. Daily personal tasks just take their toll on me too especially if the state of mind is totally confused. at times I swear I’m going mad, popping pills for stress headaches and frustration. Has anyone experienced this alone too? I know I’m always told to “look after myself” but at times I just want to give up!
Your feelings are validated. Any part of caring take take their toll and this is more so, when your loved one does not understand the reason and motives behind your actions. Caring can produce lots of emotions, from feeling misunderstood, to no-one accepting your needs, to tiredness and frustration to name a few.
Do you have any other support from anywhere? May I suggest you contact social services to undertake an assessment on both you and your loved one? You may be able to get some support and be able to obtain a break.
Thanks. Yes I have support from social services and hospice but there are times when one inevitably goes it alone with many tasks. I have additional family support arriving soon.
I massively empathise. So many feelings of guilt. My husband is 43 and we have 2 young boys. Dealing with this alone (no family help) is so hard. I know I’m doing a good job but the pressure is just insane.
I empathise too. I looked after my mum for 5 years going through cancer. Every day a struggle on my own and I worked from home as well. It was constant. And it became constant at night until I felt I would reach breaking point. Couldn’t really leave her on her own for long. Eventually she did move into a care home as I couldn’t cope when things got worse. She passed 3 months ago. Looking back now, as I deal with the grief, I would do it again a million times over. You just have to remember that she’s here now with you, and sadly one day won’t be. Appreciate all the times you have with her. I know it is so hard, but believe me, in the future you’ll be pleased for everything you are doing now. Hugs. xx
Just got the courage to post this now.
My Sweetpea passed peacefully in my arms at the Princess Alice Hospice on 05/08/23 just over two weeks ago. The grief is devastating and I’m absolutely heartbroken. It’s so unbelievable ! I keep saying to myself I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I weep bitterly a lot of the time. I fear going to bed at at night because of this. It cracks me up terribly and first thing in the morning too.
It’s like I no longer have purpose here. She was my everything.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Nothing I can say will help but just try and put one foot infront of the other and get through hour by hour. Do you have any family or friends around you?
Thank you. I have my sister visiting from SA for a couple of months so I’m not all alone right now.