It has been 1 month since I lost my Nan due to cancer. It was sudden but slow - it only took 1 year from the time of diagnosis for my Nan to be gone. My Nan lived with us for the last 6 months of her life as she deteriorated quickly and lost her independence almost in the blink of an eye. I guess the hardest thing is the small daily triggers that are little reminders she’s no longer here. I feel guilty for not being there for her more during her final months but I think I just refused to accept that she was dying and I constantly convinced myself she had years more to live. I get thoughts daily that leave me feeling guilty - just reminders of opportunities where I could have asked Nan more questions, or even just sat silently in her company. My Nan was in a lot of pain towards the end, so often her mood was low and it was sometimes difficult to comfort her. I just wish I tried a bit more and I wish I told her just how much she meant to me. Not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought of her and the only thing that brings me comfort is she is no longer in pain. I miss her so much it hurts
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Hello @nnxt,
I can see you’re new to the community. I hope you find it to be a support but I’m so sorry for the loss of your nan that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to share their thoughts. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Take care - you are not alone.
Seaneen